Beyond Me

I love BtVS and James Marsters/Spike, but I just don't know if I'm ready for this...

Gearing Up

I must say it. I love my class this semester. All really good kids, and mostly decent writers. We had so much fun in class yesterday talking about genres and rewriting "The Devil Went Down to Georgia". It was a blast!

That aside, I am concerned about the class. I'm having conferences next week, so no class, then because of my two conferences (yikes!), I'm going to 'cancel' class for Monday and Friday of the next week! I say 'cancel' because I'm going to give them assignments to do instead. (I like to call them asynchronous class meetings by assigning WebBoard stuff.) But I have to figure out those assignments and everything for the next two weeks--today. Sadly, I'm not generally more than a day or two ahead of class, so its time for massive planning!

October is going to be a very busy month with conferences I'm attending and trying to start on my end of term papers. I have three so I need to be getting them done early.

Also, I'm going to a Halloween party with stringent costume requirements, so does anyone have any ideas for an allegorical figure? The predominate color has to be black, though splashes of color, props are acceptable. Basically fancy-schmancy. What could I be? Magnamity? Control? Grace?

Black and White...and Green?

Its midnight and I have half a dozen papers left to grade before I can go to sleep, so this'll be short. I saw Wicked yesterday. It's fantastic and deserving of all the accolades it's received. It is rather disturbing, however. In a very postcolonial rewrite, it defamilarizes The Wizard of Oz in, at times, uncomfortable ways. It challenges the notion that morals are as absolute as I like to believe, as I know to believe.

And the comparisons that could be made between the wizard and our president were not flattering...I'm not sure I want to make them, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. The idea of creating an enemy/situation to distract from his mediocrity. I live in that uncomfortable place between apathy regarding politics and being well-informed. I have a vague notion of the goings-on, but not a firm grasp (who has time to read all the news and discern the truth?). Still, I care and have opinions (rather dangerously held for one not so up on situations). I feel awkward disagreeing (or even just commenting) amongst the politically charged (extremely liberal) conversations on campus, but I still lean towards participating because I rarely have facts to back up my beliefs (again, dangerous). Well, no time to dwell (my problem in the first place), papers beckon.

Another One Bites the Dust

Another week that is. Sure, I've got a bunch that I'd like to grade before I teach tomorrow, and I've got to figure out something to teach, but all in all--done. My presentation went pretty well (I think). It was very conversational with breaks to discuss our reading of the book, so it took an hour and a half. My strong concluding statement was a whimpered "so, I like it." Humph. Something to work on. Now I just need to figure out what to write my paper on for this book. If I do it in the next week, I'll be on track for the paper a month goal that I had. Realistically, I'll be happy if I finish it before November hits.

I'm told tomorrow's dinner will be spinach bisque and couscous. Yum--too bad he's gay because I'd marry him for sure!

Tomorrow I'm giving a presentation on Peter Carey, so wish me luck! I still have lots of work to do on it. And I'm not sure if I'll finish reading the book (Jack Maggs), but I've read it before, so...

Lana had a post not so long ago about how pretty people on Taylor's campus are. I never realized that until I went to NIU where the people are not as attractive. I probably shouldn't be so excited about it, but at Taylor I was in the group of larger folks, and probably the not as attractive. Here, where the SES is lower (why should that matter? It shouldn't, but it does), I feel quite adequate. Not that I should be excited or care about that, but a little part of me is.

Yesterday walking to my far away car after class, I felt collegiate. I had my cool bag; I was listening to good music, and its almost fall (hurry up already!), the eternal season of college brochures and pictures. It was nice.

Bar Hopping

Yup, that's what I did yesterday (well, does two count?). I went out with some fellow scholars near school early in the evening, where I made a fool of myself ordering a "Bailey's...straight...um, with ice or is it on the rocks?...". I'm told 'straight' means plain with nothing, so my adding 'with ice' negated that. I don't think I'm totally to blame because the waitress asked what I wanted with it to which I said "nothing, straight" but then added the "with ice part". I simply wanted to convey I didn't want it mixed with anything. I then learned that I should have ordered a "Bailey's neat," which mean shaken and chilled, but not on ice.

The next bar I went to was near home with people from work. In the space of a week, my manager called off her wedding and quit. So this was a moving on party for her and since I really like her and had never been out with them, I felt I should go. It was an odd experience.

My first mistake was not dressing up. I just wore what I had on for teaching earlier that day: pinstripe pants and a sweater; my hair was in a classy up-do. While (if I may say so) I looked darn cute at school, I looked rather stuffy at the bar. Not being appropriately costumed (read slutty low cut shirt and jeans), I felt rather silly trying to dance (grind?) to 'Dirrrty' with my co-workers. Had I been in character, maybe it wouldn't have been as bad.

While the clothes were my fault, the bar clientele was not. There was karoke. There was lots of country being played. My crowd consisted of mostly 20-something pretty girls, myself being one of the larger ones. However, compared to most of the other females at the bar, I was definitely on the smaller side. The male clientele were either really old (like I was worried they'd totter off the stage and their brittle bones would smash into a million pieces on the 8'x8' dance floor) or in their 30s and wearing, I kid you not, Hooters tank tops (that's right) signed by the Hooters girls! Not exactly the place you want to 'mingle'.

Overall, I did have fun though, but its not something I feel the need to do every week or maybe even every month. I probably would have had an equal amount of fun (albeit different fun) at home reading Jack Maggs or watching Ned Kelly.

Hmm, do I need a life-size cut out of James Marsters? I wonder.

Whoosh!

I feel like I've finally got a moment to catch my breath. Its been a crazy, busy past few days! This weekend I didn't get much homework done because I was so busy. Saturday morning was the Hike for Life, where they raised over $40,000 and I got slightly sunburned, but I did find out that there are bea-ut-iful walking paths along the river near downtown.

That took me into the afternoon, where I furtively tried to read Howards End, but kept falling asleep (not because its boring, I love the book) until I left for Katie's. We went and saw The Brothers Grimm, which is phenomenal. Its over the top campy in places because its playing with the convention of the fairy tale genre, but subtly, so I can understand why the unwashed masses didn't get it. The special effects were wonderful; Monica Belluci was creepy; and Heath Ledger and Matt Damon were playing unusual roles (okay, they're both used to playing the hero, but Damon as an arrogant jerk, not sweet and sensitive and Ledger as bookish, unsure, and squirrelly, not brooding and confident). I loved it!

We also saw Red Eye, which was fine. I was entertained for my time and money. I do wish they would have let Cillian Murphy use his real, Irish accent--that would have kept me awake at night.

Then Sunday an odd assortment of us (Katie, Elaine and Joe, two of my friends from school, and myself) went to see the Toulouse-Lautrec exhibit at the Art Institute. It was fantastic! Rather crowded, but still very neat. I love all the poster art that leads into the art deco, Mucha, era of art. I learned some interesting things like: Picasso and Degas were involved in the Monmarte sect of artists and interacted with/were influenced by/were influential to Toulouse-Lautrec. I cleverly decided that if I ever had a black cat for a pet, I would name him Steinlen.

The first part of this week has been a race to finish all the reading I didn't do over the weekend, and figure out what to do in my class. I think I'm squared away for Friday, so all I have to do is work, work today on my stuff. I'm giving a presentation next week on Jack Maggs and Peter Carey, which I'm excited about because I have a burgeoning interest in Australian literature (well, the interest has been there a long time, the burgeoning part is trying to figure out how to fit it into my research agenda).

I'm off to [hopefully] have the most productive day of my life!

Same Ol' Same Ol'

I've been voraciously reading and watching movies. This week's novels are Howards End (by E.M. Forester) and Abeng (Michelle Cliff). I think I want to write one of my papers on Howards End so I watched the movie. Also, in the effort to move along my Blockbuster queue, I watched Twist, which I love as a modern update of a classic though definitely not an 'ultimately uplifting film.'

Friday we're having a meeting to organize the EGSA efforts for Hurricane Relief. The Hike for Life that I've been helping plan for the next few months is happening this Saturday, so pray for good weather. Sunday, I'm going downtown to the Art Institute to see Toulouse-Lautrec with a host of my friends (Lij, you should come too!).

So, very busy, lots of things, but nothing out of the ordinary. (Although with the help of clever plotting from a friend, I was able to oh-so-casually ask my crush to the regular Friday night dinner. Alas, to no avail though, for he declined.)

Can't Every Weekend Have Three Days?

I seriously don't know what I would've done without a three-day weekend. I had to read Virginia Woolf's The Voyage Out, which was over four hundred pages, and Jean Rhys's Wide Sargasso Sea, which is nearly two hundred. I've got lots to grade, plus I want to start working on presentations and papers for the semester. It's my goal to be on top of everything, but I just don't know if I can do it. Already, I'm barely making it and its only the third week!

I keep thinking about all these people that I should call, see, or make an effort with friendship wise, but I just don't want to put in the time or energy. I know its terrible. By nature, I'm the sort of person that wants fewer, deeper friendships. With the few from college that are more important to me than anything, and the ones I easily see at school/work that share so many common interests, I don't really feel much like trying to cultivate others.

At the same time, I really miss having close Christian friends that are close by to do things with, to keep each other accountable, to sharpen one another. But the amount of time and energy it would take to make one of those friends? I just don't know that I have it.

What Is There to Say?

Bad things are happening around me. A professor who has taught for 38 years at my school died suddenly. He was teaching one of my classes this semester. I only had one class meeting with him, so I didn't know him too well. I've never heard an unkind word spoken about him, and that's something considering how vicious even a 'less' competitive school like mine is. He seems to have been one of those truly inspirational teachers that enriched every single one of his students and colleagues. When I was an undergrad, one of my teachers killed himself. I didn't enjoy the class after that, and I doubt I'll be able to muster up much enthusiasm for this one.

On the national scale, what is there but Katrina? It seems like we should have better prepared, but it'll do no use complaining about that now. Rather, what to do with the aftermath? I think I'd like to do more than just throw money at the Salvation Army or Red Cross. Obviously those are good things to do, but it seems so clinical and cold. Maybe I don't have a good concept of the scope of this issue, but with the government giving $10.5 billion, what would my fifty bucks do? I feel like New Orleans need people to help and places to go. My parents are thinking about how to have our extra room/s be available to a small family. While the idea of inviting a stranger to live with us for--what? a year? two?--seems scary, it does also seem to be the Christian response. I suppose its the ongoingness of helping that will be the true test, not just the immediate response. How many of us were actively concerned about the Tsunami victims last week? Surely, they're still far from rebuilding a normal life, but the aid has probably dropped radically.

I don't know what to do. I feel inadequate. One of my friends is rather fired up about this. He is bullying his students into donating money, and made them do writings on how they were individually going to help the Katrina survivors. I made my class cookies and joked with them about taking a field trip to see the new Harry Potter film in November. Clearly, he's the better man, but it made me want to be better.

New Shoes!

I'm so excited about the new shoes that I got at work today. I've just been waiting for September because of employee discounts, etc. (Plus my real job just started paying me, so I don't have to worry about minimum wage covering gas at over three dollars a gallon!) Ironically, there was another employee that day that wanted to buy the exact same pair of shoes in the same size. The store only gets one of each size in each color, so we had to flip a coin to see who ordered them and who got to take 'em home that day. I won!

Ironic

Clearly, I'm not quite clever enough. I've been trying to find what the crazy heck is going on with the code that make the quiz results so not pretty on the screen. But I can't find it. And I've spent upwards of twenty minutes. And I've got--surprise, surprise--papers to grade, books to read, and miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.

As If You Didn't Know Already

I was trying to avoid filling my blog with these, but seriously, how could I refuse?

Pure Nerd 82 % Nerd, 39% Geek, 34% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd. The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful. Congratulations! Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 95% on nerdiness You scored higher than 54% on geekosity You scored higher than 54% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid

Well, At Least It Was Free

So, I had an awful dining experience at Ruby Tuesday's. Lots of sitting and not being waited on, and then after talking to the manager, seeing our server briefly, lots more not being waited on. Still the manager was incredibly nice and he pushed us to get dessert since "obviously you girls won't be paying for dinner tonight." We did feel weird just walking out without a check or anything. Ultimately, we weren't angry or annoyed, just mildly irritated. And the graciousness of the manager made me quite happy with them overall.

I Think I Was Flirting

So, I am not good at the whole guy/girl, relationship developing sort of thing. All I know is that there is a very intriguing boy at school that I had to do some hard lobbying (this may be where the said flirting occurred) to get to come to the party last night. But he did come and said he was glad he did. We chatted a bit; it was nice. I'm still intrigued, but how, oh how to find opportunities for more and deeper conversation?

My favorite part of the discussion last night, in regards to March of the Penguins and a friend of his telling him about Donald Miller's use of penguins as an analogy for faith in Blue Like Jazz, I said "It's a good book. I know you don't really need more to read right now, but it's good for the soul." Him, "I need good for the soul now." Sigh. He graduated from Wheaton; he mentioned a friend from church. Double sigh.

(So, I'm loathe to be like Xanga and make people sign up to leave comments, but these spammy ones are annoying me. I don't think I've gotten a true anonymous comment, so I'm thinking of turning off the anyone can comment feature. Hmm.)

First Week Down, Fifteen to Go

Well, practically down. I have to teach tomorrow, but they're doing an in-class writing sample, so I'll be able to start grading the QHQ's they're turning in. I hope to have those, plus the writing samples graded by Monday. I hope.

I literally have hundreds of pages to read by next week (that'll be every week actually). I have no film class that allows me to watch movies as homework instead of some of that reading. Plus, I started the ritual bleeding today. Fortunately, Thursdays I can curl up in bed and alternate between reading and sleeping...with the occasional foray to the kitchen and the internet!

First Two Days

Well, we're in the thick of it already, but I don't feel like I've hit my stride. I am going to be very busy this semester. I planned my own syllabus (unlike last year's required, canned regurgitation), so I'll be much more vested in the class. I know that I'll be getting two assignments on Friday that I want to have graded by Monday--this from the girl who was that horrible teacher that kept papers for over a month before returning them last semester.

I'm slightly cowed by the syllabus I got tonight. I just don't feel smart enough to accomplish the tasks to the high level of achievement needed to impress. I don't doubt that I can get them done, but heck, so far I'm shooting for the PhD 4.0.

With all that, I'm partially in charge of the English graduate student organization and the mentor program for new teaching interns. That's lots of doings at this point. There's a mentor party on Friday and an EGSA dinner on Sunday.

I feel like my weekends are already full, what with two conferences in October that will each take three-four days out of my time. Not that I would turn down the chance to build my CV.

So...deep breath...here we go.

T-minus One!

Tomorrow is the first day of school! I'm so excited!! I got an email from one of my professors with an article and a short story to read before the first day, and I was thrilled.

Sadly, this means the end of daily movies and time for books, etc. I've started listening to Eragon on cd during all my trips to and from school. Some movies I've seen recently: Cafe au Lait, Monster-in-Law, French Kiss, I finished Firefly.

It Must Be Said

Happy Birthday, Mr. Marsters. He certainly should have been included in VH-1's Hottest 40 over 40. Rawr.