New Music

Tuesday Snow Patrol's new album Eyes Open came out; you may be familiar with the single "Hands Open" that has been playing for a little while. I like them, thought the song was catchy, ergo the purchase, but I had no idea the excitement that awaited me in the full album. Are you ready?

Track eight, "Set Fire to the Third Bar," is sung with...Martha Wainwright! And it rocks!

Enjoy the Silence, Not Really

It was silent, but I didn't enjoy it. Yesterday was quite possibly one of the ickiest days ever. Cold, wind, rain. Just the day for staying inside by the fireplace and reading. Not really the day for dolling up to go to a rock concert, but I did anyway; Depeche Mode tickets are not especially cheap. There was excessive make-up, there was hairspray, there was a custom-made scarf--all for this occasion.

Driving there was something. Broken windshield wiper beginning to scratch the glass and limiting visibility on the highway to a dangerous level. Skipping a fun dinner, ending up at Burger King to get it replaced and still make it on time. Only to learn:

Show's been canceled.

Maybe I'm Not the Best Person to Have in a Crisis

Yesterday was terrifying. I'd been up for no more than twenty minutes, when I heard my dad yelling, "Sarah, I've cut myself." I flew downstairs to the garage where my dad was holding his hand in a towel and looking for the top portion of his thumb. He'd been using the table saw when his hand slipped. I called 911 and, after a disturbing three rings and a bored "Is this an emergency?," got an ambulance to come. I'd gotten my dad to sit still, rather than crawling around on the sawdust covered garage floor, so I ran back up stairs to put on jeans (I was still in my pajamas). About five emergency personnel showed up in three vehicles. They found the severed piece, ultimately to no avail, there was no reattaching it, it was not a clean cut. Emergency room, lots of phone calls. My dad ended up having outpatient surgery last night and is at home, doing okay today. The cut was on his left hand, below his nail, above his knuckle. He still has use of the joint, etc. Praise the Lord, it could have been much worse.

My dad had good, I would almost say jovial, spirits the entire time, partially, I think, so I wouldn't panic any more than I already was. I couldn't look at his hand or the piece of thumb they found, and the doctor at the emergency room made me stay sitting in case I fainted. Number one, not good with blood, etc. Number two, completely unaware of the medical system. When I was talking to the fire chief (or who ever he was), he asked if I wanted to go to this specific hospital. I had no idea which one we "usually use;" we don't use them at all really. Do people actually have 'regular' hospitals? I had to get directions to the place and then ask what I should do when I got there! I guess I'll be better prepared for next time, though I sure hope there isn't one!

I'll Have My Day in Court!

And it was almost that dramatic of a morning, but I didn't feel very triumphant. A few weeks ago, I received a speeding ticket. Being that I was very busy, I forgot about it and didn't send in the payment (I was very guilty). I knew/thought that the court date was mid-May, so on Monday when I pulled out the ticket to deal with, I was shocked to see that my court date was Tuesday at 9am. Yipe.

Tuesday morning, I was a bundle of nerves, scared to death of standing in front of a judge, desperately trying to explain that I didn't belong here and I just wanted to pay, leave, and never come back. No idea how long it would take, I called the writing center (where I work) to ask if they could rearrange my schedule. This is no easy feat; its a super busy time of the year, and appointments are made. Though sometimes these appointments can be moved to other people, often tutors just have to be there. I felt awful that something I could have taken care of meant that I was going to be late.

Frightened of the legal system, guilty over possibly missing work at the worst possible time--this is the emotional state I was in as I walked out to my car to find the driver's window broken and my stereo gone. My dad's window was also broken, but they didn't get the stereo. Though I waited for a little while for the police, I didn't want to be late for court, so I drove the pick-up (in high heels). It turns out that court was nothing--I went into a room in the back of the court, sat down at a table with a guy (nice tie), talked for ninety seconds, and paid the ticket. It took me the rest of the day to relax I was so wound up. Being so tense is not my normal state, nor fun may I add.

But, that was a few days ago, since then I've finished most of my work. All I've got left is one take home final and a bunch of grading. I've spent today cleaning my room, purging it of all the books for finished papers, and watching season five of Gilmore Girls.

Encourage Me!

Because I'd much rather think about this summer than the last two weeks of the semester, I'm turning my attention to my summer school courses. PhD requirements include reading knowledge of two foreign languages. I am hoping to take French this summer, but am number five on the waiting list (yipes!). I am currently enrolled in German, and while not particularly excited about it, there must be something useful in having a basic understanding of the language (sadly, the six weeks of German I had in my 7th grade "Experiencing Language" course has not left much of an imprint). But, rather than being whiny and despondent about the issue, which I might be if I had more energy, I'd like to think of what good will come from this summer's education. So far I'm excited because:

• I like the German movies: Run Lola Run, The Princess and the Warrior, and Wings of Desire.
• Heidelberg was pretty when I was there; I visited my first castle.
• German Chocolate cake is awesome.

As you can see my list needs more, is anyone aware of popular media and/or culture that might help raise my interest in the German language? Or Germanness in general, say if I had theme music to do my homework to?

Distract Me!

Okay, so I don't feel as though I have anything amusing or new to share, but I am actively looking for something to distract me from my paper, but that I don't have to feel too guilty about. I mean, I am still sitting at my computer sitting in the piled semi-circle of open and marked books. I'm done with my paper in the sense that I've just about said all there is to say, but I'm not quite to fifteen pages and my professor asked for twenty. I'm slightly annoyed because I had a broader topic that she made me narrow, and now I don't have the books, nor have I done the reading to go back to my original idea. Oh yeah, and its due Wednesday. I wanted to be done with a draft tonight, so I could just be editing--she's a grammatical Nazi, but strangely puts in all the extraneous 'that's' that I try to cut out. I wonder if E&E Editing services include 25% increase in material length...

Esotaric Juvenalia

In my Middle English Literature class, we're giving 'conference' presentations--basically reading aloud a twenty minute version (8-10 pages) of your term paper. Let's be honest. What we write in those things belongs on the printed page, not the human tongue. While writing, we revel in long, complex sentences, seamless insertion of quotes, and unpronouncable vocabulary. By the fifth one of these in an afternoon, my attention was...let's just say waning. So, with the help of a complicit classmate, we embarked on Medieval MASH!* And so I give you my Medieval future:

Living in a mansion...
I will own four books.
I will be an lady, wench, evil fairy, anchoress.
I will marry Gawain, King Olaf, lovesick lyric poet, Piers Plowman.
He will work as a merchant, field hand, priest, knight.
The language I know will be French, none/illiterate, vulgar English, Latin.
My favorite deadly sin will be gluttony, jealousy, wrath, sloth.
My favorite sermon topic will be chastity, levels of the estates, generosity, joining a convent.



*I will say we actually have played this before with other topics, the best of which is Harry Potter MASH.

The End is Nigh

Only two weeks of classes and then finals week left. Wow, as I write that I think about the two papers I still have to write (probably only 20 pages total, so not as bad as it could be), and the research papers I have to grade--rough and final drafts. Eek! Finals week used to be the best week of the school year, we'd watch movies--often the whole of the BBC Pride and Prejudice-- and enjoy the sunshine (usually). Sadly, now that I'm a teacher it means doing lots of grading, no matter how hard I try to front-load my syllabus, and making tough decisions like, should I fail (meaning give less than a C, which requires the repeat of the course) the senior taking my required gen-ed along with 24 other hours this semester who is planning on graduating, but really walks that D/C line?

More Personal Connections

In an attempt to seriously and intently not do my paper (eek, I need ten pages by Wednesday, conference ready!), I watched In the Company of Men, which is directed by Neil LaBute and stars Aaron Eckhart. It's quite interesting, very little action, just lots of talking, but I haven't seen anything so horrific in a very long time. Two corporate alpha males play a game of revenge against women that have wronged them by toying with a deaf girl's emotions. It's terrifying to think that men exist like this. Its disturbing to get such a close look at a character like Eckhart's Chad that may in fact not have a soul.

The personal connection is that it was shot in Fort Wayne, with special thanks to the Pfieffer House--a coffee house that I've known and loved. In fact, I think they shot a scene there, but I'd need a second opinion...

Ok, on to Medieval drama.

Once Again Hollywood Reaches Out to Me

I was watching season three of Angel (the episode "Billy" where the guy passes on misogynistic urges to other guys was awesome...of course, they kicked his ass) and there was another reference to a town in my life. (Like the Wheaton/Veronica Mars connection.) At one point, as the gang is foiling the evil plans of evil-doers, an evil guy ticks off some key cities of operation that they'll need to contact, "Berlin, Singapore, Paris, Muncie." Indeed, Muncie being a center of maniacal machinations would explain some things, like how it took me three years to learn how to find my way home from there in any sort of reliable way.

Fortunately, Harry and the Potters will be playing played there April 7th. (Dang, I was going to make Lij go.) I'm sure they made the town safe with their Wizard Rock that vanquishes evil foes.

For Once,

I shall be the cool one, who knows the hep internet sites. Check out dinosaur comics. This guy's been doing them every weekday for three or so years, always using the same six panels of art. They're pretty great.

Gulp

That's me swallowing my pride. I had to apologize for saying some things that unintentionally made one of my friends feel devalued about a past relationship. I don't know how well it went; I've been wanting to say something for a week, but didn't figure it was appropriate in an email, or even a telephone conversation, though that's where it ended up happening. I wanted to speak to him in person, but its awkward when there are always other people about. I don't really want the entire office/department to know what I'm saying.

So, I ended up calling him because I was just feeling awful whenever I thought about that situation. The problem is I don't know how well it was received. I'm not great at reading people's facial expressions and body language, but I'm better at that than I am at voice inflection. I don't really know what I was expecting in return, not that he said much, but I hope that I was able to clearly communicate my regret for making him feel bad because that was clearly not my intention.

Could it be? A Research Agenda?

I presented my "award-winning" paper today. I was unnecessarily nervous; all went well.

Lots of papers have yet to be written this semester. I'm rather excited about one that I'm going to write that deals with Dirty Pretty Things, which I just re-watched this weekend and realized how fantastic it's going to be. And exactly how fantastic is that, you ask? We're talking leading into dissertation fantastic, that's how much!

Professional Development

This weekend our department is hosting a conference. It happens every year and is a fairly notable one. I presented today on narrative structure in Orlando both Virginia Woolf's novel and Sally Potter's film. It went okay. I was a little nervous, and I think I went over my twenty minute time limit. Another notch on the cv. I wonder how much a school is really going to look at my conference presentations and if that'll effect my being hired.

I'd much rather spend my weekend cleaning my room, watching Angel, and working on my term paper (though not grading papers and that I'm going to have to do). It's so frustrating that I'm expected to participate in the profession at the level of a professional, while being a student and a teacher all at once. Plus, I'd like to have some semblance of a life. I feel like the only thing I'm capable of doing when not working on school stuff is being at home in my pajamas, watching tv and going for the occasional walk in the woods.

I know its just a matter of gritting my teeth and cranking through, but I'm a bit overwhelmed at the thought of another three-plus years of this.

Shout-out's and Frivolities.

I know I've plugged it before, but I don't think you're listening: Watch Veronica Mars...yes, you! It's just fantastic and looking like its going to be around for awhile longer. So, you'd save yourself the trouble of coming to it later when its wildly popular by getting in at the ground floor now. Last night's episode (an interesting return of Troy for those familiar) started two Arrested Development actors, one of whose character was from "Wheaton, Illinois." Huzzah! National recognition!!

The question of the morning (before I grade annotated bibliographies) is how to spend approximately $150 frivolously? I won a department award for a paper I wrote for my post-colonial/post-imperial class last semester, and they gave me money! I've decided to be decadent, but how will that best be optimalized? I welcome all suggestions. Right now some of my thoughts include Season 1 of VM plus a Best Buy spree, a digital camera (haven't decided which and I'd have to cough up my own money too to get anything worth having), some sort of day spa package, or there's a bracelet at Tiffany's that I quite like.

*Sniff*

I was very sad when my perfume Grace (from Victoria's Secret) ran out because it has been discontinued. Ever gamely, I bought a new scent (this time from Gap, department stores are just too expensive); this one is called Heaven.

I even smell redeemed.

Well, Golly

Its been quite awhile since I've posted. Where do the days go? Especially since I clock daily time on the internet reading other people's blogs.

The past two weeks have swung rapidly between the busy/not-busy* ends of the spectrum. I had spring break in which I was productively lazy. I didn't sleep for ten hours a day (as has happened in the past), but read lots of books and watched lots of movies/tv shows for fun. That meant that my dreams for productivity were not realized, and I spent the last five days sleeping very little and writing very much (ooo, that sounds awkward, hopefully I was more eloquent in my papers).

Between the true breakyness of spring break and when I got educational religion, I went on a retreat with my junior high youth group. It was basically fun, but my girls were crazy. They all brought excessive amounts of candy and caffeine and were hell-bent on sleeping as little as possible. The first night it was after 3:30 when I finally put on the mean-teacher-voice and told them "You have to stop talking on the phone/text-messaging the boys in the next cabin and go to bed!" The second night I slept in the adjoining room and gave them a one o'clock lights out. They were rather tired then, so I think it was upheld, but I fell asleep before getting a chance to check on them.

Amusing incident of the weekend: after being told they should probably only use their cell-phones in an emergency, one girl justified aloud to her friend that a broken hair-straightener was one and she needed to call home. I listened to her explain, twice, to her dad why she was calling, and at one point, she vehemently said "It is the end of the world."

*I accidentally typed "not-busty," and we all know I'll never live on that street. Hehe.

What's a Girl to Do?

I don't think I would describe myself as lonely; I'm very good at keeping myself entertained. I just wish I had a partner in crime. I was reading/writing at Starbucks today; I'm generally quite productive when I go out to work, my bedroom having a high concentration of distractors--cable tv, my dvd and book collection, an internet accessible computer... So, my problem at Starbucks (and where ever I try to work) is I need a (mostly) silent partner. I need somebody to watch my stuff when I go to the bathroom. I need somebody to listen to me read aloud the occasional interesting/indiscernible sentence, comment, and then go back to her/his own work. I need somebody that I'm comfortable enough with that I don't feel the insecure need to be witty/clever/memorable/entertaining so that this individual will want to continue our relationship. In short, I need an old friend. Everyone around here is too new; I need to perform, or at least be in active getting-to-know you mode when around anyone. All my kindred spirits are too far away, and when I see them I want to be friendshiping, not companioning (does that make sense?).

Truthfully, I don't see a solution in sight. Once I finish my degree and I can either move near an old friend or spend time making an old friend without worrying about finishing up term papers!

So Good

I know I'm a little late to the bandwagon, but I'd like to think there's still room. I watched Walk the Line for the first time yesterday. Sigh. It was awesome. I think its interesting that despite the depravity of Hollywood and their themes (so raves my father), there were still many redemptively themed stories such as Cash's and oscar-winning Crash. Heck, I even thought The End of the Spear was pretty good.

So, in the past two days I've also bought and watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and Pride & Prejudice, and, though my bank account is rather strained until the eagle next flies, I am sorely tempted to buy Walk the Line or at the very least, the soundtrack--just because I so love Joaquin and Reese.

People on the Internet...

...make me laugh. For instance, an amazon "So You'd Like to..." list for "Spending a Fortune and Making the FBI Most Wanted List." To be honest, its rather genius. And such good hearted fun (there's plenty on the net that isn't).

Currently, I'm avoiding working on my book review for Middle English Literature, but I hope to finish it before I go to bed. Yesterday, I didn't finish all my grading (big surprise), but I also want to--at least--get the proposals done tonight.

I did read English as a Second Language (Crane, 2004), which was rather forgettable and silly--people in grad school in England can't drink that much (at least not and still pass their classes!). I read a few chapters in Levenger founder and CEO Steve Leveen's book The Little Guide to a Well-Read Life, which, based on his advice to give up on a book you aren't enjoying after the first 50 pages, I may or may not finish.

This morning I finally started Robin McKinley's Sunshine and am loving it! I'm sure there'll be more to report later. Right now, I can pontificate on the wonders of Neil Gaiman and his Sandman series. These are graphic novels that are Important. They are more truly capital "a" Art than many a novel I've read (see aforementioned chick lit disaster). Visually and narratively these books do some of what I love most--intertextuality that blends pop culture and erudite high art. There's a lot I don't know about this genre/medium, but from what I know, these books are significant for bringing more attention from both the mainstream and critics. So, read 'em.

Oh, and a word of warning. When buying the new Harry Potter, be sure to get the double disc, special edition. Two versions are out there, and I got the single disc. So, I've got to go back to the store to return and make the switch.