MCLLM

My school is running a conference this weekend. I'm helping organize the registration desk, as well as presenting two papers. I began to edit and cut down one of my papers (both presentations are coming from class papers) but I'm liking it less and less. I feel like I should re-write the entire thing, but I'm presenting Friday (that's tomorrow) and I have no idea when that'll happen. I still I'm fighting my way out from under a mound of essays that sadly aren't grading themselves. Not helping matters is the fact that some one lent me the first season of Buffy and I've been sneaking in far too many episodes. Taunting me are three movies I got in the mail from Blockbuster that I haven't been able to watch. I did manage to watch my one film for class: Don't Look Now which I liked. In class last night, "You know when you see Donald Sutherland naked, you're in art cinema."

He is Risen! He is Risen, Indeed!

My liberal, relativistic department (okay, that doesn't narrow it down, this is most of academia) has a "Quote of the Moment" on the homepage. These are generally enjoyable, as they relate to writing and reading, or interesting authors. But I was pleasantly surprised to find this quote when looking at it tonight.

Fantasy remains a human right: we make in our measure and in our derivative mode, because we are made: and not only made, but made in the image and likeness of a Maker. -- J.R.R. Tolkien

I like that.

Happy Easter, everyone!

I Passed! I Passed!

I officially passed comps! Huzzah! Now that part of me that couldn't completely be excited about being accepted into the PhD program--'cause what if I didn't really get to go--can now dream freely! I'm really, really going to get my doctorate!

I've been looking at courses the past day and trying to figure out what I'm going to take the next few years. Unfortunately, class lists are so unpredictable that I can't plan much beyond next semester. I suppose I have no choice but to deal with that. Next semester I get to take a Postcolonial class and one on the Bloomsbury group!

I just bought the cd All You Need Is Live by Cowboy Mouth. I saw them in concert this summer, and it is an experience like no other. I was screaming so loud I almost threw up; being a normally sedate and placid individual, this was a new sensation. But I really bought the song for the song "Everyone Loves Jill" which is just happy. Everything in the song is red. Sample lyrics:
She drives a red car
Drives her red hat
She's got a red door
Plays with her red cat
She's got a red light
That lights up her red room
She eats her red cake
With my favorite red spoon
At which point in the concert, everybody threw red plastics spoons at the stage; there were hundreds of people prepared for this, while I was unaware.

I had conferences with all my students this week, which took up an enormous amount of time, plus I was writing two papers for my grad classes. I'm excited to get back to a more normal schedule where I can concentrate more on my teaching (I still have papers from the second week in February to return) and my weekly work in my own classes.

Just What I Need

More ways to get on the internet. I just got a wireless card, so that I can go to my library (or Panera!) and use my laptop. One of my neighbors must have wireless too, because I can hook up in my house (not that I need to with cable internet, etc.). I have enough trouble controlling myself around my computer, now mostly anywhere I take it (on campus) I'll be able to be online. I'm like a junkie who just got a permenant IV tube.

But I did find this hilarious video, a Christian version of "Baby Got Back." Remarkable.

Back in the Saddle Again

I don't get it. I don't prefer to work under pressure, but I accomplished more grading-wise in four hours Sunday night than I did for the entirety of spring break. Today, I've been uber-productive, having individual conferences with my students and getting more grading done in the 15-30 minute breaks between them. I've decided to reward myself with some lunchtime blogging.

While in Indiana, my friend Lij introduced me to Blogshares. Not only can I spend lots of time reading and posting on blogs, but I can turn that into cold, hard, fake dollars. Wonder how popular you and your online thoughts are? Now, there's a number! Buying and selling popularity the way it should be--through online links. I'm thoroughly amused, yet frightened that I'm just insecure enough to actually care what my 'stock' is worth.

Media update: in my spring break sloth, I watched: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (I wanted to like it more than I did. It had a great concept and was visually inovative and pleasing; I wish I'd seen it on the big screen. Sadly, Paltrow's character was so insipid I wanted to shove a fork through her larynx. The film just didn't realize it's potential.) Paparrazzi (Interesting, though disturbing. The good guy did bad guy things that made it difficult for me to feel bad for him when the bad guys did bad guy things to him.) Jersey Girl (Yeah! Quite amusing and still poignant. I'm far enough away from the marketing that the trailer stealing all the good parts wasn't so obvious. I have to say that whatever else there is to say about Ben Affleck he's movie star handsome, dreamy in an old Hollywood glam way.)

Hypocrite

So, I've been angrily judging my friends for not posting in days, when I realized "Hey, you haven't posted for quite some time (as blogs generally go)." Sadly, I haven't had that much exciting that I've done or thought to share with the world. And the excitement of having comments from two non-personal acquaintances show up (meaning there are others who have read my blog) has quickly turned to anxiety over what I'm writing. I mean I want these others to think I'm witty and cool and not a nerd...okay, maybe they could be fooled into thinking I'm a witty, cool nerd.

My spring break has not been very productive. I'm struggling to write my paper on Hero; I'm having lots of interesting thoughts about it, but when I sit down to put them on paper (actually will that expression soon be "on screen" because that's the reality of it), I have no organization. I have not even thought about grading, which could turn ugly quickly, if put off much longer.

I've cut myself off from insipid TV and am only allowed to check email and blogs online, yet I'm still distracting myself with Martha Stewart inspired crafts and brainless novels that are only page-turners. I did start The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and that seems somewhat clever, but that's probably the most worth-while use of my time. That and a novel my friend wrote, but I'm finding it difficult to read that as anything other than an autobiography and if that's true, I just want to cry and feel sorry for him, but I'm sure he'd hate that.

I watched Spider, a David Cronenberg film with Ralph Fiennes, Gabriel Byrnes, Miranda Richardson, which was quite boring. There were supposed to be (I think) two shocking plot twists that would have been interesting, but they were both spoiled because I a) watched the trailer and read the back of the case (spoiler 1) and b) casually glanced at the chapter list to see how many there were and read one that gave away the turn of events (spoiler 2). I wanted to like this film. I generally love Ralph (he's going to be an amazing Voldemorte), and I even admired his taking on a role in which he utters approximately three discernible sentences. Creepy, disturbed characters generally make me feel pity (and occasionally attraction) rather than revulsion, but I was emotionally neutral towards him.

Hopefully, there will be exciting movies for me in the mail today.

Cyber Community

Community is important to me. It was a touchstone of my undergraduate university, Taylor. It is the foundation for the Acts 2 Church. I think we were meant to live in community. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Henry Nouwen, Larry Crabb, Donald Miller, among others, all write about communities--how and why they function. God created us to do life with other people (just as He exists in a community--the Trinity).

Okay, my point in this post (before the title I gave it got me off track) was to say: Blogging is nifty. Not only because, I can keep up with friends and they with me, etc. My personal community benefits. But also, the more I read other people's blogs, the more I see a community, beyond the people I actually know, existing. I have found a number of academic blogs that I have only begun to read and appreciate. Because I am going into academia and hope to one day join their ranks, I am intrigued to see what it's actually like.(I enjoyed the site, An MFA is a Terminal Degree.) But, this post and its comments struck me as a) hilarious, and b) a wonderful display of ideas, thoughts, and people truly dialoguing on the internet. It helped me remember all the good, productive things that can come from the net other than the time it seems to suck from my powerless body as I sit comatose in front of my computer screen, my portal into the abyss.

The hum-drum of my life: I'm on spring break and will hopefully be 1. very productive and finish my two papers for my classes as well as grade everything in my world and 2. go to IN to see friends (whom I ought to contact and make concrete plans with...).

I've not watched much in the way of actual movies, just trashy mtv, adultswim, and Queer Eye. I haven't even read much. I have anxiety about devoting my precious break time to the wrong material, so I waste half of it choosing something I end up not having the time to finish. I have started knitting a lover-ly scarf and will soon begin a nifty bag with an Aran knitting pattern.

Comment Trouble

So, I've been trying to post witty/encouraging comments on Lij's and Elaine's blogs, but have been "brutally rebuffed*" and told their blogs do not exist. Clearly inaccurate, but what am I to do?

Lij, I hope your presentation went well; I wish I could have been there.

Elaine, I had never read the lyrics to Stella Was a Diver and She's Always Down. I thought that meant she was depressed, but I think perhaps it's a little dirtier than that. Also, naming a child Stella would mean for the entirety of her life she would be followed by Brando wannabes yelling, "STEEEEELLLAAA" thinking themselves clever.

Hopefully these will reach their intended audiences.

*Name the movie and win a prize.**

**Said prize will be non-tangible and akin to my being uber-impressed with your mad skills.

Why I Don't Grade Student Papers?

Today (and Tuesday and Monday) I've been listening to Erasure in the car, especially the song "Take a Chance on Me" over and over and over again. And I'm filled with a free, deep-seeded joy like I have not known since the comps reading list was available.

So, some of the movies I've been watching with my new found time and in, hopeful, preperation for a paper in my British Romantic poetry class: The Rime of the Ancient Mariner: Samuel Taylor Coleridge Poet and Drug Addict and Gothic. Both are directed by Ken Russell and are rather interesting. I've also rewatched from my collection Pandaemonium which I know is not very accurate, but I love it anyway.

For Art Cinema, I watched Blow-Up, which I loved. The main character looks exactly like James Spader, and he's a swinging Londoner photographer. A man takes a picture and keeps enlarging small portions of it to maybe discover a murder, but in trying to determine the 'truth' the pictures become grainier and more abstract, as the narrative simultaneously is skewed and becomes committed to a sort of "non-reality." Brilliant.

My Small Group Rocks

My small group ended a couple of weeks ago when our leaders moved to Colorado. My church's small group session is on hiatus, and they generally take an absurd amount of time to start up again. But my small group said, "Hey, we like each other, we're good people. Let's just have small group." So, we met tonight to plan what that's going to look like, and these people are awesome! Rather than having a single leader we're going to have an oligarchy of the eight of us who were there to lead. We're going to take turns hosting it at our houses. It just seems like a lot of fun.

I was the first one there and was a bit concerned because I only heard that Jeff and Susan were expected. This worried me because we were at Josh and Trish's house, and I thought: Gee, wouldn't it be awesome if it was all married couples and me. Stephanie and Greg came though, and they're not married, just dating. Hmm. Fortunately one other guy came, which was nice. I wasn't the only single one there, and then we had an even amount of guys and girls (which is more aesthetically pleasing than anything else). I hope that we get more singles to come though, or at that Mario keeps coming so I'm not the lone free ranger.

Or maybe Mario and I can get married and then I too can be a Smug Married.

Kidding.

Mostly.

Good News Everyone

I was reading an article predicting 2006 Oscars winners (sure they're not even made yet, but that's not going to stop us), and there's a movie coming outcalled Walk the Line (one of my favorite songs)! about Johnny Cash!! starring Joaquin Phoenix!!!

(I sure hope none of you knew about this and was holding out on me.)

A Beautiful Day

Comps are done. Finally. They were okay. I'm a little nervous about passing, but there's nothing I can do now. It took a few hours (and a few drinks) for me to calm down yesterday after they were done. Now I can relax a little and enjoy the spare time this will give me. I've still got plenty of school work to do--all the grading and reading I've ignored for the past month.

Last night I saw the play Far Away by Caryl Churchill. It was short and odd. Interesting, though. I read Top Girls by her and loved it. I'm not as sure about this one. I went with my friend Josh and our professor that we read Top Girls with. Afterwards they took me for a drink to discuss the play. They both had great theories that put everything together in smart ways. My contribution to the analysis: "I liked the hats."

I've finished watching Carnivale. I enjoyed the series. I like when there's a spiritual, biblical element to a story. It's always interesting to see how non-Christians (although I suppose the creators could be Christian, I've done no research) deal with such material. One of the catch phrases around the show is that the dust bowl was the "last great age of magic" before mankind "traded away wonder for reason." I think that's a beautiful concept. The age of reason really did leave life sterile on some levels; I want to live in wonder of life.

It was 57 degrees today, sunny blue skies. I was in Wheaton to see Katie for her birthday, and we walked to Starbucks. It was lovely.

Saturday

Tomorrow are my comprehensive exams. I do need to pass those before I start the PhD program. So, for those of you who are the praying types, feel free to lift me up around 1ish on the 5th. I've been trying to rewatch all the movies, go through pages and pages of notes on theory, and practice on questions I think they might ask (when was the last time you had to do timed writing, generally five paragraph essays? It's been a long time for me, too.), and generally not hyperventilate by thinking of what might happen if I don't pass.

The Next 3-5 Years of My Life

are now determined because I was accepted to the PhD program! Huzzah!