Obligatory

I feel as though I need to react to the Oscars. I was disappointed. My party went off well, my foods were clever:
Unpressed Pinot Noir (grapes)
Incredible Fruit Dip
Hillary Swank's Black-Eyed Salsa
J.M. Barrie's Traditional Scottish Clapshot (mashed potatoes and turnips, tasty really)
Every Aviator Needs Wings (chicken, that is)
Million Dollar Baby Back Ribs (also soulfood)
Lemony Snicket Bars
a Ray-sin Tart
all ended with mints, you know, in case you want to get a little... Closer

Lots of people showed up, some who I didn't even know, so that was cool, I guess.

Okay then, the actual show. I did not like Chris Rock. Somebody in my office today thought it was valuable that he was there pointing out how the Academy Awards are dominated by a white, male aesthetic. I guess, maybe...but I think this is one night of the year that Hollywood pats itself on the back for being really important, and I like to soak in the shallow glamour and ego and not take it so seriously. I don't think he'll be asked back (heck, after he talked about how much he despised the Oscars in Entertainment Weekly I'm surprised he was asked at all); he certainly didn't make friends last night. (I enjoyed Sean Penn, under the influence of some sort of chemical, managing to string together a complete sentence or two to defend Jude Law.)

The winners made me sad, too. Martin Scorsese deserves better; Clint already has one. And, sniff, poor, hot, sexy, green-eyed Clive Owen.

More of the Same

My friend is here to see the Oscars! Yay! I'm excited for my party, but I am overwhelmed. I hope that I can make it to spring break. I feel like a droning, boring individual (as well as blogger) because all I can think or talk about is how I'm a terrible teacher, I don't get my kids' papers graded, I'm stressed for comps, and I hope I get into the PhD program.

I'm curious. Does stress and mental taxation burn calories? A couple of people have asked me if I've lost weight, but I know I'm eating all the time and I am not saying 'no' to myself very often.

Oscar Party Help

I figured that I would place a general cry for help to the populous. I'm throwing my 2nd Annual Oscar Party, and I want clever dishes related to movies titles. Sadly, I'm not witty enough on my own, nor is the internet providing a wealth of suggestions, so...Can You Help?

I'm thinking along the lines of Pixie Sticks (Finding Neverland), wings (for every good Aviator), grapes for making pinot noir (Sideways) and the like. It's a lot easier to come up with desserty ideas than not, so any suggestions for 'real' food would be particularly helpful.

Thanks!

Done!

I finally finished Blue Like Jazz and can say the whole thing is quite good. My small group tonight was awesome. Our leaders are moving to CO in a week, and the rest of the group said, "Hey, we like us. Let's keep being us (a group) after they go. Lets not even worry about being sanctioned through our church, lets just keep getting together." So, that was pretty cool. I like the people there. There's even one guy who I kept having great band conversations with. We just liked all the same stuff, until...

we were talking about the last concert we each been to and he said Ben Folds/Guster and "Rufus 'I suck' Wainwright" (note the quotes I would never ever ever say anything so terrible).
My high-pitched, terror-stricken shriek brought the attention of the whole room (oops). He asked if it wasn't okay and couldn't we disagree on somethings? This is, of course, true in most cases, but I told him that he was now dead to me because he said Rufus was "okay on cd, but awful in person." *@#%! Just 'okay' and 'awful'! My prolonged discomfort did make him reconsider and tell me that maybe, I'd be able to convert him to liking Rufus.

I should hope so.

And The Lesson Is--Never Try

So, when I realized there was no way I was going to get my classes papers graded (really, what's new about that?), I decided that I would not grade anymore (the five I did almost killed me), but instead, I would actually do a little preparing for class. So, I set out making this killer list of annotated web-sites about pre-writing strategies on Webboard (my online class alternative to Blackboard) when Internet Explorer got zany and quit working--before I had posted (i.e. SAVED) my list. A lesson to me about opening too many browser windows and working with lots of unstable material, I guess. In my grief, I wrote an assignment asking my students to find and evaluate a website on pre-writing. They can just do it themselves. And that's what I get for trying to rise above the low mediocrity of a teacher that I've established myself as. I hope when comps are done (T minus 12 days for anyone counting) I can raise the bar a little.

Last night after my class, I gave myself fifteen hours to do whatever I wanted without worrying about school work. Granted, most of that was spent sleeping, but that was a treat, too. I didn't sleep much the night before last and I didn't like the result. I was tense and stressed all day, and I felt like every time I open my mouth I complained and whined. I don't like being like that.

I think I'm going to spend some of my free time (I have another hour and a half) cleaning my room. Generally, it gets messier over the week and I straighten it during the weekend. Now, I'll be going into the weekend with a clean room. Won't that be nice?

Also exciting, I'm going to see Erasure in April, and I might see The Killers in May!

Hmm, I don't have too much to say that isn't frustrations/stress over school, comps, or my PhD application, and this is my free time to ignore all that so, I'll do a media check and be on my way.

Carnivale (of course), December Bride, book and movie (I really enjoyed these--I'd seen the film before and I liked even better after having read the book, I'm a fan of Ciaran Hinds), Persona, Blue Like Jazz (almost done), and after my free time ends I'll be reading Wordsworth's Prelude.

No, I'm Mr. Brightside

My goals for today are as follows:

• Watch December Bride
• Watch Persona
• Grade my student's objective essays
• Write a paper on Hero
• Read IAC articles
• Create worksheets for tomorrow's class
• Weep for joy that I finished it all OR cry in fetal position that I didn't

This semester may in fact kill me. I'm starting to get extremely stressed about school. What if I don't pass comps, or don't get into a PhD program? I mean on some level, I suppose I could take that as a sign from God that I was not cut out for academia, but then what am I supposed to do? Teach high school?! I just don't think I'd be happy there. Part of me wants to become a chauffeur like Sabrina's dad in Sabrina; he became one "so he'd have time to read." And that's what he did--read (and invested money to become a millionaire). It's too bad I don't enjoy driving all that well.

Not Yet Sleepy

I haven't seen this hour of the night for a while. There's not much that will keep me from at least six and a half hours of sleep (and since I generally get up at 6:30...). I was at Robyn's drinking Malibu and diet coke (sweet ambrosia). I graded a few papers, but it was taking for-ev-er. Probably because we watch a movie (The Last Dragon, a disco/kung-fu/80s film with a villain named Sho'nuff and a hero named Bruce Leroy).

Musical update: Hot Fuss seems fine. I can't seem to listen to anything on it but "Mr. Brightside." I've just listen to that one song, over and over. Except for the few times that I've listened to Final Straw, which I am loving also. The song "Run" which made me buy it (and who's video is at this exact moment playing on VH-1) is great. It just builds and swells musically bringing my heart along for the influx. There's also a good song that talks about Jekyll and Hyde. I love literate artists.

So I did

I went out and bought Hot Fuss and just for the heck of it (aka spending 10 bucks to save 4--I'm so conditioned) I also got Final Straw by Snow Patrol. I've heard one of their songs once. So, we'll see how that works out.

So I had coffee (well, steamed milk, the concept of "getting coffee" and the associated nuances is deserving of it's own post, but another time) with a boy. He's nice. We were supposed to meet at 2:15, but independently we both showed up around 1:00 to read (him) and grade papers (me). It was odd and as he said "we ruined each others schedules," but it was in a nice way. So from 2:30 to 3:15, we read and graded papers together. It was nice and companionable. Often when I'm with him I feel very high-strung, this was laid-back. We agreed that we should do this more often and ascertained that neither of us does anything on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Now I have a reason to get out of my pajamas and leave the house on those days. Plus, I've noticed I accomplish more at Barnes and Nobles than at home without the seductive lure of the Internet to tempt me away from the righteous path of productivity. If nothing else, I can go there and then call him and say, casually, "Hey, I'm here and you should be too." Even if he doesn't agree, then I'll be there and at work...

Did I mention that he's nice?

Blah

I'm getting sick; I'm getting scared. All I want to do is think about the Oscars and the party I'm having, not MA comps the weekend after. Not the PhD admittance committee who at this very second has life determining power over me. Not the fact that my prayer life has sucked lately. Not ... No, I'd rather think about how The Killers new video for the single "Mr. Brightside" is a perfect homage to Moulin Rouge (one of my top five movies) and now I have to buy their album. Or, consider questions like: should I spend all of my disposable income for the next few months on eBay on a complete set of Star Trek TNG on DVD? Basically I want to ignore reality and its implications for the future (both short and long term) to bury myself in media.

Ipod Shuffle

So I saw other bloggers doing this and I thought it looked fun. Of course, only two or so people read this, so there won't be much (if any, though I'm counting on you, Eden) participation. So hit shuffle songs on your ipod and see what ten songs come up. No fair changing until you have a 'cool' playlist. Here's mine:

1. Right About Now - Fatboy Slim
2. Last Kiss - Pearl Jam
3. Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) - Offspring
4. Over It - Rufio
5. Little Earthquakes - Tori Amos
6. This Is Love - J. Butler (It's off a WOW Worship CD)
7. Stay (Wasting Time) - Dave Mattews
8. What's Goin Down - Tobymac
9. Helm's Deep - Howard Shore (LOTR)
10. I Changed My Name - Sugarcult

Um, who's Ipod is this? I have nine hours of U2 and not one of their songs. Who's Rufio? I want a recount.

1. Sonny - New Found Glory
2. Ash and Smoke - LOTR
3. Friends -Led Zeppelin
4. I Could Sing of Your Love Forever - Sonicflood
5. Summer - Sum 41
6. One Hundred Stories - The Alkaline Trio
7. In a Future Age - Wilco
8. Shirts and Gloves - Dashboard Confessional
9. Some Kind of Jet Pilot - Brandston
10. Leaving Hogwarts - John Williams

Hmm. A little better. Clearly my college roommates have left their mark on my collection of digital music. Still no U2. That's tragic.

Yea, I'm Smart!

I emailed my professor and asked a question about our class/upcoming paper. He forwarded my email to the rest of the class saying it "raises the following set of very astute and appropriate questions." Huzzah! Now, I didn't quite understand how his response really answered my questions--I don't know if I can write my paper on Hero or not, but I'm sure I'll figure it out in class tomorrow. Speaking of class, I have seen the film and read the articles! Often frustrating to myself, I rarely have all of my work done the day (not hour) before class, so...double huzzah! If only I can read a hundred or so pages on narrative theory (not the fastest material) and grade forty papers, I'll really be ready for tomorrow...

So the Weekend's...Over?

Boy the time goes by quickly. I didn't feel well on Saturday. My brain wouldn't work right; I couldn't comprehend any amount of reading, which is especially unfortunate because that's just about all my work. I couldn't find the one movie I needed to watch and stupid Blockbuster didn't send it to me, so I'm not sure how I'll see it before Wednesday. Hopefully somebody in the class will have a copy I can borrow. I do allow myself to buy movies that I need for class with no remorse or guilt because these are the texts that I am studying. I am leery of these art films though. I enjoy many of them, but they are so often hit or miss, and I'd hate to spend 30 bucks only to find out this one was a miss.

The two papers I submitted to MCLLM (Midwest Conference of Language, Literature and Media, or something like that) were accepted. Yeah. I'm building my cv, so by the time I graduate everyone will want to hire me to teach. Yes, often schools hire people based on their publications, but their job is to instruct. Silly, huh? As interesting as research is, that's not really what I want to do, but I've got to play by the rules if I want to win the game.

Trust Your Instincts

Last night I watched Collateral. I didn't really want to, but I figured with a best acting nomination--it was my duty. Sadly, I was still bored. I don't know why. From the beginning the plot didn't sound interesting to me, and I was right not to have paid eight dollars in the theater, waiting for video.

Before that fiasco, I went shopping and was talked into buying a--truthfully, very cute--pair of boots. I already own a pair of black boots. Of course, there are differences and that allowed me to justify, but seriously.

I'm a bit concerned about the speed, or lack thereof, that Blockbuster online does its shipping. I was torn between them and Netflix, but Blockbuster was a few dollars cheaper a month, and I am a "poor grad student." I need to watch a film (Wild Strawberries) before Wednesday and I don't know if I'll get it. Here's hoping.

I'm off to read various articles about Art Cinema Narration. I do get to take some of the coolest classes ever, don't I?

In an Attempt to Avoid Work

...for just a few more minutes (after checking all my emails, regular blog reads, and news sites), I shall post an update on my media intake. I was going to be good and do this a lot as side/end notes to many of my posts. Hmm. Books: Coleridge poems, various criticism on the narration of The Dubliners, Narrative in Fiction and Film: An Introduction by Jacob Lothe, still Blue Like Jazz. I had someone try to lend me The Golden Bough, which I desperately want to read, but I know it would sit on the floor next to my bed with all the other books that I need/want to read, but haven't gotten to yet. Film: Second Sight (a BBC Mystery! miniseries with Clive Owen, Carnivale, Weekend (a Godard film that I don't really recommend). Music (a new category): have been listening to my Franz Ferdinand cd a lot (thanks, Eden!) and am really enjoying it.