Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Steadily Creeping

On January 7th and 9th, I will be taking my field exams--no exaggeration--the most important academic tests I will ever take in my life. And I only have 17 days left to study. Some of the material I feel confident with--the film, the fiction--but the poetry, that my friends is going to take a miracle.

So, forgive my lack of interesting posts this semester, and should anything else be posted between now and mid-January; know that it's merely a study break diversion; and try not to judge me too harshly.

Although, taking my cue from Em, I've tested my blog readability and been anointed "College: post-graduate*," so I guess my slippage hasn't yet occurred.

*Edit: After linking to this cite, I rechecked and was promoted to "Genius." Seems suspect.

Little Things

1. I just finished writing the last paper I ever have to write for a class. Wow.

2. After literally years of looking for a quote I'd feel comfortable representing me as my standard email signature, should I ever decide to include one, I came across two from in a single book (Jacob's Room, Virginia Woolf, 1922). Because I don't know if I'm that person (who has email signature quotes), I offer them here:

"But real flowers can never be dispensed with. If they could, human life would be a different affair altogether."

"It is the same with books. What do we seek through millions of pages?"

A Bag

My mother and my sister-in-law are both crafty ladies; I like to think of myself as rather crafty; I like to quilt, knit, crochet, scrapbook, make cards, etc. However, I haven't done much in that vein in awhile, being that most of the time I'm studying (or feeling guilty about not studying). Over Thanksgiving, my sister-in-law was making Christmas cards, and she and my mom were working on a quilt they are making for a cousin who recently got married. The combination of jealousy that I wasn't projecting, plus a brief excursion to a quilt store where I fell in love with some fabric, ended up in a few hours diversion in which I made a purse, bag, thing.

Look at those birds. I couldn't leave it in the store. It's not highly crafted; there are exposed seams on the inside, but I don't particularly care. And, there is a lining and specially designed pockets to hold my essentials with room for a book, stack of student papers, and a water bottle.

My ipod and two pens.

My cell phone and keys.

I'm pleased and only slightly distraught. Rather then satiating my crafty gene, it just made me realize how much I miss it!

Talk Nerdy to Me

At a recent conference, I met a fellow grad student who made an insightful point: gamers make excellent boyfriends for grad students. She suggested that they are inclined to spend large chunks of time playing, perfect for getting work done; if he wants to spend time with you, you can just encourage him to finish his level, and you're guaranteed another couple hours to yourself; and all of your preoccupation with school can be guilt-free!

Much of the tv that I've watched of late has been G4, and I've become rather enamored of Attack of the Show and one of its hosts, Kevin Pereira. The guy is rather cute, especially funny, and has serious geek cred--what's not to love? The other new tv in my life is The Big Bang Theory, and I will admit that I am deeply in love with Sheldon, the uber-geek with a PhD in physics. Seeing as he's just a character though, it may be harder to imagine actually meeting him (or someone of his ilk).

So, I'm sold on the theory; I'm ready. But now the question is, how do I find a real one?

Blerg

I'm sick. I have some sort of sore throat issue that refuses to become a real cold--my nose isn't especially runny, and my infrequent coughing is not "productive." I felt so awful on Monday that I canceled my classes, a first for me. But, I was giving a presentation in my class, so I still attended and did my thing, which went as well as can be expected, I guess. Because I was going to be on campus (and because I canceled classes), I went to the health center. I haven't been to the doctor in like eight years, so I was a bit scared, but it turned out okay. She said it was probably just a virus, not strep, so I guess that's good. I so rarely get sick that I don't know how to deal with myself. I can't concentrate on anything, so I feel negligent (of my studies and classes). Sigh, I just want to feel better.

Dog!

So if you're local, you've heard about the tragic pet hoarding situation that was recently discovered. If not, a woman had over 300 living cats and dogs in her house and 200 dead ones. While they were not abused per say, they were not fully taken care of. Since their rescue, they've been taking care of by the TAILS Humane society in DeKalb.

Today was the first day that the animals were available for adoption. I didn't go (studying for exams) with my mom and brother, but they said there were a lot of people there. Ultimately, Nathan ended up choosing this one.


And he seems like he's going to be a good friend.


***UPDATE: His name is Gibson.

Finally

It's been a long time coming, but I finally saw Across the Universe, and I loved it! Now I'm willing to admit when my personal entertainment and aesthetic desires trump my critical eye*, but I don't think this is the case. Yes, I went into the film wanting to like it, but after Eden's disappointment, I was on my guard.

Since I had the soundtrack, I knew which songs were going to be used, but it was still a delight to see how they were used: US Army posters singing "I want you; I want you so bad;" a girl forlornly singing to her oblivious crush "I want to hold your hand." In addition to the new and interesting levels the film brought to the songs, the visuals were stunning with their unique juxtapositions (e.g. the near-opening sea waves crashing over and through newspapers and video clips of war and race riots). Not having any first-hand experience with the 60s, this is a fairly inexpert opinion, but the film really seemed to capture a wide multitude of experiences and emotions that were jostled together in that time. I can't wait to own it, look at some of the scenes in-depth and then write about it!

I'm sure people will make various levels and depths of comparison to our current war, but ultimately the film was hopeful and uplifting, not so much anti-war as pro-peace and love, which I quite liked.



*I probably should be ashamed of my deep-seeded love of Hudson Hawk, but I'm not.

For Tomorrow...

...clean bathroom for company...30min
...grade 21 student papers at 15 min apiece...315 min
...read the final 227 pages of Tono-Bungay (Wells 1909) at 2min a page...454 min
...eating, bathroom breaks, necessary mental breaks...120 min
total time: 15 hours, 19 minutes.

It's already 12:18, and I've spent 4 minutes composing this blog. I question my will power to resist Ugly Betty, 30 Rock, and The Office tonight.

So, if I am riding on Train A, representing the minimal amount of work I have to do today, and Train B represents tomorrow speeding towards me at a rate of 60min/hr, how long before collision? Will I have time to jump off? If I do, will I injure my academic avatar? Will I pass my January exams?

*Note: If work is shown, partial credit may be available.

Academia

This past weekend I attended the Midwest Popular Culture Association conference in Kansas City. It was fun. For the whole weekend, I was able to walk around talking to interesting, thinking people about ideas and pop culture. There I felt like a functioning member of the academic community. Grad student and faculty mostly blend together, and since this was my fourth year there, I was comfortable in my skin. My panel was canceled because the two other presenters had deaths in their families, and my paper was moved to another panel that didn't fit as well. Most of the audience wanted to talk about comic books, rather than globalization issues and Bollywood musicals. Oh, well. I did have one woman come up to me afterwards and tell me that she was probably going to teach Bride and Prejudice as a result of my paper, which I found flattering. I ever so slightly affected academia! Huzzah!

In a more depressing turn, I was reading an article in The Chronicle of Higher Education about the dwindling numbers of conservatives in faculty. It claimed that the majority of faculty are not far-leftists though, that moderates are the growing number. Not surprising to me was the report that the smallest percentage of conservatives in humanities departments in PhD granting institutions. I would probably consider myself a moderate conservative, but definitely on the right side of the center line, and I often feel as though I cannot voice my views and values in my academic community.

The article provides an interesting reason that might be underlying my fears: the [lack of a] job market. I quote at length:

"Mr. Menand's impression is that dissertation topics in English have changed little since 1990. "Placement and tenure anxiety doesn't exactly encourage iconoclasm," he said. The last great period of ferment in literary theory, he argued, came in the 1970s and early 1980s, at a time when people commonly earned degrees within five years and easily found jobs. With lower personal risks and sacrifices, he suggested, young scholars could afford to offend their elders and to shake up their disciplines.

Today, by contrast, humanities students are sacrificing a decade of their lives with no guarantee of a job at the end of the line. "Who would venture on such a career who did not share, or believe that he or she shared, most of the views of those institutions and gatekeepers?" Mr. Menand asked."

Indeed the professors and the university are the 'gatekeepers' to both my future and my past. If I was to offend (read: present a conservative viewpoint on an issue) those in power (read: my professors, some other graduate students, the department secretaries), I could easily become persona non gratis, which can effect my opportunities, which effects my CV, which effects my viability and connections on the job market, for which is what I've spent the last five year of my life preparing. It's a sad thought knowing that the University, so often encouraging of rebelling against the Man, has got me over a barrel.

Calling Modern Art Historians!

Tuesday, I bought Dashboard Confessional's new album, and I noticed a remarkable similarity to the other latest album I've bought, the Across the Universe soundtrack (which I still haven't seen, grr).


I don't know much about current art trends, but surely there is some ur-text that is influencing both of these album covers. Who first did the dripping, splattered, painted fruit?

Watch it Again

I know I've sent this to a lot of people, but I can't stop watching it. Hilarious. Eddie Izzard's comedy is extremely smart; I love the Monty Python homage.

Crisis Very Nearly Not Averted

So, I'm house-sitting this weekend for a professor who is out of town, and I got stuck in a very teeny bathroom this afternoon. After five or so minutes of vigorous turning, locking and unlocking (I hadn't originally locked it--I am the only person here), I figured the only solution was to MacGyver my way out by removing the door handle using a pair of scissors (found on a cursory inspection of the under the sink contents) on the screws.

As I was happily unscrewing away, I thought myself terribly clever, and while there was a moments pause about letting the outside half of the handle drop to the ground it seemed like the only way to get at the middle chamber. Which, promptly, did not open. Huh.

After being only partially successfully in my attempt to remove the hinges from the door, I was stymied and began to think of the ramifications of spending the next day in there.

• Through the handle hole I could see the dog and one of the cats and knew the mess would be disgusting (I've been on constant vigil and have already had to clean up multiple animal voids--these are needy pets).
• I'd miss both of the classes I was supposed to teach--the irresponsibility of just not showing up seemed unbearable.
• Once I'd missed classes, people might start looking for me (certainly not before), but my parents didn't know the address of where I was staying, and I wouldn't be able to answer any phone calls.
• I tried to picture the conversation I would have with my professor and her husband through the door when they returned home the next afternoon. I was already embarrassed, although I'm not certain how I could have avoided the issue...letting the outside half of the handle drop seemed like a foolish idea now.

After 15 or so minutes ruminating on these issues and trying to work out what object lesson God might be trying to communicate to me, I re-evaluated my materials at hand. Fortunately, the handle was apparently a replacement and the old one had been left in the new one's box along with some spare parts. I was eventually able to use part of the old one to turn the stuck bit and was free! I don't think I'll be replacing the handle, nor closing anymore doors in the house.

Lesson learned, never go to the bathroom without your cell?

All That is Right About Pop Culture

My brother directed me to this gem of a comic, and I am compelled to share with you:

Crime and Punishment.
The comic.
Starring.
Batman.

Could it get any cooler?

The conversation that follows the comic via is also quite interesting. I don't think it's a secret that I value pop culture as worthy of academic study. It's important to read and know originals, the canon, but I also think it's important to teach students to critically analyze and engage with the texts that are commonplace in their worlds. That's why I teach both Dracula and the graphic novel adaptation Renfield: A Tale of Madness and the triumvirate Pride and Prejudice, Bridget Jones's Diary, and Bride and Prejudice.

Adaptations are not meant to replace the original but to be a critical response to and another expression of the a priori text. I appreciate the blog author's assurance to those irate individuals who seem concerned by the very existence of such a mash-up, "Relax, the original’s right there on the shelf, unharmed."

Too bad I learned about this too late to research up on it and present something at the Midwest Popular Culture Conference I'm going to later this fall. Ah well, I haven't finished writing my presentation on Bride and Prejudice, so I suppose it's better to be working with a familiar text and genre if you're composing last minute-ish.

Revamp

I'm changing my study plan, I just don't feel like I'm getting through material quick enough. So, I'm going to abandon my previous chronological order reading plan, and just read at will. Plus, I'm going to start reading poetry and plays along with my fiction so that way I can have a little more sense of accomplishment, because I should be able to read at least a play on the days that I don't have time to do a lot of reading. Also for instance, when I don't really feel like reading D. H. Lawrence's Women in Love, I can turn to David Lodge's Thinks and I'm still being productive.

To that end, I went to the library to stock up on some quicker reads (unfortunately, I don't have the money to buy all these books). The strangest thing though--would you think that founding father of the Theatre of the Absurd, Samuel Beckett would have his play Waiting For Godot located in the teen section? Me, neither.

New Music Tuesday

Two days ago, I had the song "Loud" by Matt Nathanson stuck in my head, prompting me to root through many mix cd's looking for the one that Elaine and I made entitled "Cry With these Songs" where I knew it was track eight. After successfully finding it and then listening to it on repeat for most of yesterday, I was excited/possessively angry/intrigued to see that this week's free itunes song is by Matt Nathanson!

Go Away, Summer, Leave Already.

I had a not-so-great day yesterday: I didn't sleep well; I had tiring dreams (where you dream about doing all the mundane work of the next day, but when you wake up you have to do it all again); I didn't want to teach; I felt stressed about exams; I found out Across the Universe was not coming to my town, but you know what made it especially awful? The weather.

It has been bright, sunny, and warm--upper 80s--for almost a week, and it's supposed to be like that all weekend. Is it too much to ask that autumn be a little more autumn-like? All I want is to be able to do is make soup while wearing jeans, sneakers, and a sweater--is that so much to ask?

Watch Your Language

I'm having my class do a blog, and I'm having them do an activity reading and looking at a variety of blogs. In the course of looking for examples for them, I ran across the blog Overheard in Chicago, which is a compilation of the crazy things people heard around the city. Some favorites:

Girl: "So she called and wanted to know why you were so pissy."Guy: "Did you tell her why?"Girl: "I don't know why."Guy: "Good. Great. Now you know why I'm in such a bad mood."Girl: "Because I don't know why you're in a bad mood."Guy: "Do you see the circle of anger you create?"- [overheard at] Loyola

College Girl: "That's the girl who added me on Facebook, but won't say hi to me in real life." - Columbia College Elevator

Truly a cautionary lesson to us all about public conversations...

Across the Universe

So, I can't wait until I've seen it (opening this weekend) to mention it. I love-loved Titus, Julie Taymor's fantastic and fantastical adaptation of Shakespeare. Across the Universe appears to be in the same visually sumptuous vein, while working with adaptation and re-appropriation of texts in an original story a la Luhrmann's Moulin Rouge. And we all know, that was one of the best movies ever made. (Seriously, no exaggerations, I would at least place that in the top 100 movies ever.)

In preparation for the felicitous occasion, and thanks to Best Buy's low-low prices, I purchased the deluxe edition of the soundtrack, which increased my excitement level. I'm grateful that I'm not one of those individuals bogged down by issues of 'fidelity' that can find no joy in re-imagining of a prior text. I find this collection of Beatles songs delightful (favorites of the moment "Happiness is a Warm Gun" and "Blackbird"), and I highly anticipate seeing them woven into a colorful narrative.

Can I Get an Amen?

Jon Stewart is going to host the Oscars! He has been my favorite host since Billy Crystal, and I'm glad to have him back. I was thinking about backing off of my annal party because the Oscars weren't especially fun last year, but this gives me pause.

HP in 7

One of the things I did this summer was teach at the Bonding Over Books Harry Potter Conference in Philadelphia and one of the classes I helped work on was a teen film workshop. In the course of two days, these eight students (with the help of me and two others, but really the kids did almost all of the non-technical work and even that they gave artistic input) put together a film that condenses the first six books into seven minutes. I think given the time and the no-budgetness of it all the results are pretty good.

Last Reprieve

Due to crazy rain and flooding in the area, campus was closed today, so no department meeting! One final day to get serious about organizing all the paper that has come through my life in the past year or so.

Or, to finish watching the disc of season one of Battlestar Galactica--I hear there's room on the bandwagon.

After 12 Years...

I guess it was time for a change.

Stardust

One of the films that I've been excited to see for nearly a year is finally out! Katie, Nate, and I saw Stardust on Thursday, and it was amazing! It's based on a book by Neil Gaiman, a man who if he wasn't married I would spend every minute of my free time knocking on doors in and around the woods and farms of Wisconsin so I could propose, an incredible author. This fantasy story has a light, sweet quality to it that I can't properly articulate. It's not as serious or Important as for instance Lord of the Rings in the sense that the fate of the world or all known existence does not rely on our hero. No, Tristan is just a boy looking to be a hero for his one true love. Of course, other heroic adventures ensue along the way of finding a fallen star for his girl that are greater than him, but it basically deals with interpersonal issues and is none-the-less enjoyable because of it. So, well worth the time and trouble it might cost you to see it. And you'll get to see Bobby DeNiro like never before.

Wrong?*

What do you do when you know you're reading something wrong? I've had many years of training in how to think and how to read Literature, but sometimes, like with John Galsworthy's Forsythe Saga**, I find myself much more sympathetic to the 'villain' of the piece. The 'heroine' of the story is seemingly trapped in a loveless marriage with a husband that cannot hope to understand her or make her happy. I know that I'm supposed to feel sorry for her, with her artistic nature that is seemingly incompatible with her duty and reality bound husband. But, I don't really. She hasn't appeared to make any efforts to have a congenial relationship in a marriage that she willingly agreed to, while he would do and does anything that he thinks might make her happy or bring her pleasure.

As the series progresses, he is becoming more villainized, which compounds my frustration. While I see that the things he is doing are bad, I simply see them as results of neglect and frustration from his wife. While I'm not studying this for class or intending to write about it (yet), I am reluctant to enter into an academic discussion about such a text when I know that my opinions would be/are so contrary to mainstream academic ideology. Sadly, academia is just the place that such a discussion of character and art should be made and I wonder if my thoughts really would be rejected, or if I'm merely too cowardly to stand in an unpopular position in my department. Would that change if I were in a tenure track position rather than a graduate student still dependent on advisers and committees? I hope so, but is that being environment savvy or just weakly inconsistent?

*I'm not quite as terrible poster as it seems. I drafted this a couple of weeks ago and forgot to post it in the craziness of the past few weeks of road trips, vacations, family reunions, house sitting, and job interviews.

**I'm watching the 2002 mini-series, which I'm assured is a very literal translation of the novels, though I recognize that differences may exist. I've read quite a bit about the author and the books and feel fairly certain that I would have a similar reaction to the page as I do to the screen.

Epic.

On Friday night, I attended a Border's 'Deathly Hallows Ball' with my mom, brother, Katie, and Eden. Katie was Bellatrix; Eden was Tonks; Mom was an awesome Professor Sprout; and I was Rita Skeeter. We all looked awesome, even though none of us won the costume contest--how do you compete with five year olds?--but I was clearly the crowd favorite!

I'm not going to discuss the details of the book because I'd like people to be able to finish this decade long journey for themselves without spoilers. I will say that it was wonderful. I truly feel that Rowling has created a series that can stand next to the Chronicles of Narnia and the Lord of the Rings. Her complex world deals with universal, and dare I say Christian, themes that resonate to the core of who we are as humans, a mark of capital L literature for me--no matter what the intended audience or reading level for anyone who still thinks of this as merely kids' fare or the fact that the masses revere it. I was deeply satisfied with the narrative and can't wait for the day that I get to teach a class on Heroes in pop culture.

Thank you J. K. Rowling for doing what all great authors do--tell stories that have us reading all through the night and speak Truth about the human condition. That potent combination is the most bewitching, charming, and magical element of Harry Potter.

Isle Royale

Isle Royale is an island in Lake Superior that is a National Park. No wheels are allowed on the island--cars, bikes, etc.--and as a result it is very pristine wilderness, probably very similar to what it was like over a hundred years ago.

To get there, you have to take a ferry, which was fun for the first half hour, but the next three hours were not. It was very, very turbulent; a third of the passengers were throwing up, and most of those who weren't were trying not to.

We hiked everywhere, staying at a different place every night. We obviously carried everything we needed for the four days on the island, packing out our garbage, etc. No campfires are allowed, so we had a little proprane tank and a camping stove.

In the middle of the trip, I woke up with my left eye nearly swollen shut. I'd gotten a bug bite on my eye lid during the night. It took a few days, but eventually it went away, though hiking was strange with impaired vision.


Our biggest day was 10.5 miles along the center ridge of the island with a lunch stop at an observation tower at the highest point. Our weather was perfect--no rain, sunny and 70s during the day. The nights were a little cold (in the 40s), which made our tents wet by morning because of condensation from our breath.

All in all it was a fun time; lots of pretty scenery and snazy wildflowers. Nathan saw a wolf, and he and I think we saw a moose swimming on the other end of a lake we were camped near. Nothing close or prolonged, but still wild kingdom-y.

Ratatouille

Okay, I've got lots that I want to say about my two vacations in the past two weeks (one to Isle Royale and the other to Cornerstone), but I want to quickly tell the world how excited I am to see Ratatouille. I loved the concept, the location, etc., but all my hopes for greatness were confirmed when I saw the trailer that used "Hello, Hello" by one of my favorite bands The Cat Empire. If it's in the film too, I may have a conniption in the theater.

I Think DM and I Would Make an Awesome Couple

Last night I heard Donald Miller speak "Let Story Guide You" at Willow Creek. He is amazing. I feel like everything he says is a slicker, funnier version of the feelings I have. He is able to articulate the importance of story beyond what I have cognizantly recognized, but I know to the core of my being is why I have dedicated my life to it. Perhaps it's a cop out, but I don't want to even try to explain his ideas because my version would not do justice to his presentation. Looking around at his website, I see that the message seems to be in the same vein as what his new book is going to be. So, if I see you soon, I'll play you the cd I have of his message, if not, then read his book when it comes out. But, I will say that a quote that opens Neil Gaiman's Coraline is perfectly in keeping with the theme (though not really what he spoke about).

Fairy tales are more than true: not because
they tell us that dragons exist, but because
they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
—G. K. Chesterton

Incidentally, worshiping with The David Crowder Band was far more energizing and satisfying than any of the True Colors artists, even Erasure.

Waiting for the Starting Gun

There is nothing that stands in the way between me and studying. I have compiled the list in the chronological order in which I will read the primary sources, with the secondary sources inserted in a different color where their subject matter most directly applies. I have the first four books that I'm reading ready to go (Joseph Conrad's Lord Jim (1900) and The Heart of Darkness (1902), and The Twentieth-Century Novel in Britain and The Edwardian Turn of Mind). I have created templates to fill out after every book: author, title, summary, characters, major themes, pedagogical implications. I am set.

And yet, I have every night of this week filled with social engagements: True Colors concert, Donald Miller/David Crowder Band, small group leaders bonfire, scrapbooking 'crop club', and Q101 Block Party. I am never, ever this busy; hopefully, I will soon be able to go back to my hermit-like existence that supports good studying. Plus, I still have three HP books to re-read before the release (39 days, 4 hours, 12 minutes, 29 seconds) of book seven. I thought not teaching was going to free up time...

The End.

Of two books that is.

1. Special Topics in Calamity Physics. I realize that I just recently complained about this book, but as I was set to shoulder through the final two hundred pages, I broke through the boring section and the final 150 pages flew by. While I stand by my previous observation that it could be shorter, ultimately, it was fantastic--a fairly satisfying read that satiated all the narrative curiosity I had. I was finishing it in a coffee shop when a friend that I was meeting there showed up, on time the nerve, so I spent three hours playing chess and talking with a mere eight pages to go waiting for me!

2. Summer at Tiffany by Marjorie Hart. This was a quick read that was highly enjoyable. Not much on character development, but it wonderfully encapsulates a place and time: New York City, Summer 1945. It seemed like a fairy tale (of sorts), but also made me think about the differences between how war affects a nation. There were tons of off-hand remarks about rations, curfews, and daily details of life that were changed because of the war. Beyond the higher gas prices, I don't feel as though my day-to-day life has been altered because of the war. While I realize that soldiers have died, no one I know or even no one I know knows anyone that has. I'd like to think that there will be an end to our war that will be celebrated as joyously as they did in Times Square on VJ Day.

It Amuses Me

I realize that those hip to the internet may already have seen this picture, but tonight was my first encounter, and I wanted to share it with the peoples because it makes me laugh.




In addition to this, there are a number of other walrus (walri?) and bucket (or lack thereof) pictures that others have contributed to the story, which can all be found here.

A Little Late?

I realize that The Prestige came out a long time ago, but I didn't see it until now. And in case anyone was wondering, it's really good! I loved David Bowie as Nikola Tesla. Christian Bale is amazing; my little boy from Empire of the Sun, Henry V, Newsies, and Swing Kids is all grown up. I'm quite intrigued to read the book, but I'm afraid that I'm going to have to wait. I'm trying to finish Special Topics in Calamity Physics before I really start reading for exams. I will admit that the book is quite interesting, but it's just too long. I'm 300 page in--far too much to quit--but there are still 214 to go, and my interest is waning. This woman needed an editor to be a little more insistent.

The Plan

So, in light of the previous instability of my life, I've decided what to do this summer (I think). I'm planning on not working unless some acceptable job falls into my lap and studying for my field exams. There does seem to be a light at the end of this tunnel of school. I have finished all but one of my courses, which I'll be taking in the fall and will help me study for exams as it is a seminar on British Literature from 1880-1920; I've passed my reading requirements in two foreign languages; now, I've just got to pass field exams and write the dissertation.

I'm not so much worried about the dissertation. I have an idea that I think is interesting and mildly innovative, and I know I can write. It's these field exams that are scaring me. I'm planning on taking them in January, where there will be two days with a four hour block in which I answer three questions which proves that I fully understand and can teach my fields. If ever there was a this-test-determines-the-rest-of-my-life sort of moment, it's this one. You can retake the tests once, but after that, if you don't pass, you're finished. Thanks for playing the past three years of your life were wasted. So, in order to avoid that, I'm starting the studying now.

First up on the menu: Joseph Conrad's Lord Jim and Heart of Darkness, which will perhaps prove to be a bit more intellectually demanding than 28 Weeks Later and Knocked Up, which I saw last night. Sometimes I wonder at the trashiness of my taste...

Where's the Rug?

So, whenever I get my pics uploaded, I'll post my Bostonian pictures, and I'll share my experience serving on a jury this past week, but there is a much more grave issue at hand. I read my email this morning for the first time in a few days and learned that the class I was teaching this summer has canceled! What do I do now? Find some ridiculous, not related to my field, drudge job (a la the mall)? Not work and live off of my savings while I read?

I will definitely not be taking the class that I was signed up for; it didn't meet any requirements, just looked interesting. So, I'm left with a lot more free time than I'd anticipated. I guess that's good because I'll have more time to study for my field exams. But, there's even more free time to manage, and I'm much more productive when I'm busy.

But, since I'm in vacation mode (I was waiting for the summer term to start), I've been reading Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl. I quite like it. I think I could be friends with the protagonist and narrator Blue. According to her father's advice, the book is "exquisitely annotated" (12), which I can see being grating for some people, but is the life that I live.

A Moment of Silence.

Last night, my U2 special-edition ipod was pronounced dead at my local (ish) apple store. I had little time to mourn, since I'm travelling to Boston today and I am not ready to have an ipod-less existence. As I bought my new ipod, I had to give up my old one. I know there's probably nothing that I could/would have done with it, but it was sad--especially since I was too cheap to spring for the U2 one this time (the last one was a gift). So, my grieving continues and today is Bono's birthday, which keeps the sting of loss fresh (not that yesterday wouldn't be fresh on its own).

Huh

I have become a professional academic because I get excited about reading and then writing and talking about said read (or watched) texts. I'd like to think that I am not without some skills in the field. Yesterday confused me.

I received grades back on the two big papers that I wrote this semester. Granted neither subject (Milton and the Renaissance Essay) are the reason that I have stayed in school so long, but at least for my RenEss paper, I was sort of excited about my topic, which was theoretically tangential to what I do in my particular field. For my Milton paper I chose the topic as something I might like to read, but nothing that I was going be invested in for the larger picture of my research agenda. Why then, did the throw away (and a little bit of a nod to the teacher's interests) topic get a better grade than the far more original, interesting to me one? Why am I a better academic when I care less?

I find it rather disconcerting that I perform better when I care less about my subject.

I Think I See a Light and Why I Love Reading

Well, I was up until 2am writing a final for my class, then I got up at 7:20 to make cupcakes for my friend's birthday lunch. I'm beat. My two big papers are done, now I just have tons of grading and reading to do. I was doing an awesome independent study this semester, but I think I had an overly ambitious reading list and I know I should have somehow (I'm not sure when) done more on it during the semester. I've got six books left that I want to read--most of them are over 300 pages. Blurg. But, on the bright side just when I was completely disconnected and a little bored with my book Oscar and Lucinda (Peter Carey, 1988), I came across this amazing passage:

"...he had an idea involving it, an idea that involved such a dreadful laceration of his own feelings that it is really hard to credit. And yet it was all born out of habits of mind produced by Christianity: that if you sacrificed yourself you would somehow attain the object of your desires. It was a knife of an idea, a cruel instrument of sacrifice, but also one of great beauty, silvery, curved, dancing with light. The odds were surely stacked against him, and had it been a horse rather than a woman's heart he would never have bet on it, not even for a place."

Those last two sentences make me want to weep; they are so beautiful.

A List.

In an attempt to excite me to finish the semester quickly and complete all the work I need to do before the freedom of summer break (all three weeks of it), I'm posting a list of the books I hope to read during that time. Most of them are not especially academic, but these are the final books I'll be reading for fun before I start studying for my field exams (a six month+ process):

• All six Harry Potter books.
• Special Topics in Calamity Physics, Marisha Pessl
• Bibliophilia: A Novella and Stories, Michael Griffith
• Having finished Paradise Lost, it seems appropriate to read Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy.
• Summer at Tiffany, Marjorie Hart
• Masquerade, sequel to Blue Bloods, Melissa de la Cruz
• and while I might not read it cover to cover, I'll be perusing Bollywood: A Guidebook to Popular Hindi Cinema.

If anybody's read any of these, how did you like them? This list is not necessarily in order of importance, and I probably won't get to them all, so I'd like help prioritizing!

Xenophobic Bravo*?

Already I like Shear Genius in it's single episode more than the whole of Top Design--apparently others agree, there wasn't a reunion episode, nor the drawing out of the finale into two episodes. Sadly, the cute, sassy, and French Paul-Jean was the first one cut, following the disturbing trend of Bravo's reality series first kicking off the foreigners. In the first season of Top Chef, the first to go was Irish, in the second season, it was British. Coincidence?

*I don't really think Bravo's xenophobic; I'm mostly sad that I don't have the foreign accents to listen to--thank goodness for BBC America!

Commenting on Student Papers

As I am spending a lot of time grading papers of late, I was highly amused by my google quote of the day

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
- An English Professor

and this McSweeney's list.

And while I would sometimes like to write things along the lines of "You have managed to coldly and persistently rape the English language for 17 pages. Congratulations" more often than not I end up with more of the "You had some nice details" variety.

Tonight I'm sleeping with the window open!!

Not That I Ever Denied It...

...but was pointed out to me twice yesterday, that I make rather nerdy jokes. I mean, clearly, I had my audience pegged because they understood them and recognized them for what they were. Are puns that require knowledge of Roanoke and Stanley Fish so crazy that fellow nerds need to highlight that I used them? I'm not sure.

But, perhaps there is something to it, as I sit here listening to "Brand New Lover" by Dead or Alive and I think it's hilarious that their album is titled Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know. Caroline Lamb anyone?

More Timberlake

Okay, two posts on JT may seem like overkill, but I promise I'm not that into him, I mean I don't have any posters up. But, I recently saw Black Snake Moan and I have to give him credit for doing a pretty good job as the screwed up, taciturn boyfriend to Christiana Ricci's nymphomaniac. The whole movie was amazing. Yes, there are some raw scenes, but I don't think they were gratuitous (as say, the sex in 300). Ultimately the film was a story of redemption, and what sinner doesn't like to see that? Yes, Samuel L. Jackson does tie Ricci up to a radiator with a chain, but he's also the first person to care enough about her to try to help her. A smart narrative that blossoms naturally rather than explaining every detail at the beginning--there were times when I had to work a little to put the story (or rather some of the characters) together, which I think is a good thing. This is the kind of film that would be awesome for discussion/teaching at a church, but some people would probably take offense. If you know that you can handle some harshness, then make the effort for this life affirming film.

Truly a Pleasure.

I'm willing to admit it. Justin Timberlake is no longer a guilty pleasure; I am not ashamed to say I enjoy him. That being said, I found an acoustic version of "Sexyback" by a local Chicagoan that is awesome:

A Quote and A Question

Something that I read in Milton's Areopagitica and liked:
“He that can apprehend and consider vice with all her baits and seeming pleasures, and yet abstain, and yet distinguish, and yet prefer that which is truly better, he is the true warfaring Christian. I cannot praise a fugitive and cloistered virtue, unexercised and unbreathed, that never sallies out and sees her adversary, but slinks out of the race where that immortal garland is to be run for, not without dust and heat.”

One of my students said she was talking about me with someone from the writing center where I used to work, they were able to discern that they were referring to the same person because they both described me as "jolly." Is that a complement because I'm normally upbeat or an oddly kind way of describing me as overweight?

Synergy

Boy, I love school this semester. Not every semester do I feel this way; sometimes there are classes that are requirements but just not fun; sometimes there are classes that I have to teach that I dislike. This semester has been awesome. Throughout my season in grad school, I've often struggled with the selfishness of it. Continually pouring into myself and spending an immense amount of time to develop my skills. However, it is necessary if I want to be a college professor, and there's no better time in my life to do this. I've also struggled with the research aspect of the profession, feeling as though I'm not giving anything back or doing anything useful with the time and energy spent to write yet another paper. Teaching benefits society and the individuals with whom I have contact, but research--no way...until this semester.

As I've been teaching our "Experience of Fiction" course (sometimes jokingly referred to as the "My Seven Favorite Novels" class), I've found myself spending a ridiculous amount of time researching for it. I've been drawn into the academic conversation around my texts and am seeing, for the first time in my academic life, the practicalities of how research supports teaching and how they are interdependent. Similar to the first time that I truly understood how theory functions (yes, it really is a lens that helps us understand a text), I feel as though my eyes have been opened, and I can clearly see a new level in the world of academia. And the view is spectacular, spectacular.

...The Book!

Okay, so my department has a list serve for announcements, information, argumentation, etc. Of late, an oft visited topic on the Canon vs. new forms of literature (condensed classics, blogs, graphic novels) has been making the rounds. Amongst the bickering was a link for this video (I'm not cool enough to know how to embed it) about the technology problems one encounters nowa, -er yesterdays.

Speaking of books, what have I been reading lately, you ask?
Well, while I've read the introduction to Jean Rhys 's (of Wide Sargasso Sea fame) first novel Quartet, I've not so much actually started the text, perhaps tonight, definitely by Thursday. I've been reading Milton (whose early life story feels eerily similar to my own), some of his Prolusions and the essay "Of Education." Mostly I've been doing a close reading Dracula for the class I'm teaching. What a great novel!

Today, my literary focus will include a few Renaissance essays on Friendship, but primarily will entail creating my own essay. Look for "Of Oscars" in the near future!

Anita and Me

I love finding myself in books. This weekend I finished reading Meera Syal's Anita and Me for my independent study. By the by, the movie is wonderful fun, I encourage everyone to see it, you won't regret it. But, this passage perfectly nails what I have often been troubled about, but never been able to put words to:

"My mind drifted into practical overdrive, as it did with all my daydreams. It was never enough to have a vague picture, such as 'I save Donny Osmond from near death and win a medal'. I had to know what I was wearing, whether it was a fire in a top London hotel or a runaway horse in a summer meadow, what the weather was like, who was watching and how my hair looked at the moment of rescue.

It was an annoying trait, I admit, and often I got bored with the fantasy halfway through, bogged down by stylistic detail when I should really have been concentrating on the emotion and wish-fulfilment side of things." (202)

Grr.

The Bears lost. I didn't expect them to win, but then the first quarter was so exciting--they taught me to hope.

It's very very cold. My mom's school is canceled but mine remains on. At least the class I teach isn't meeting in the morning per usual, but in the afternoon to watch The Innocents. And the students that can't come are sending me cranky emails, despite my repeated warnings that this film was hard to find, so they should borrow my copy. I refuse to let it be my fault, even though inside I feel like apologizing.

So, I give you a grumpy " 'airy co' " and the home of an extremely annoying French soldier.

Sorry...

I know I've been terrible about posting. For some reason it just seems like so much energy; I'm not sure why. Topics often go through my head for posts, plus there's still European adventures to share. I know that my audience isn't large, so there's not pressure to post. I don't know...and I'm sure reading apologies are ridiculous and boring, so...

I've been reading a lot of and thinking about British literature. I'm starting to prep for studying for my field exams, which I'll take in a year. I've already started having panic dreams. But, I've been in the British mindset, so I'm including a shot from the top of the London Eye, where we had one of the two days of sunshine my entire trip, and Brighton pier (at night and in the day) where we spent a night, dreaming of the Regency Era.

Top Chef Finale and Belgian Waffles

I am incredibly stoked. The man that I have rooted for from the beginning made to the final two. Is it the hair? Possibly. The cool name? Probably. The fact that his arrogance is hot because he actually is super talented, so it's not really hubris, but confidence? That he didn't personally attack people even when unfairly villanized? That he's clearly a geek in his field? Definitely. Marcel, I love you; if we get married, we'll be able to have amazing dinner parties for the English department, and I promise I will eat anything you make me...even if it's something gross with peas, mushrooms, olives, or green peppers.

And now, a foodie moment from Brussels.

Sunday Comics

Sunday is the best day for comics, well I don't get a paper anymore, but that's what I remember from being a kid. Brussels takes their comics seriously; they were continually refered to as the 'ninth art'. (I don't know what the first eight are, but I'm sure it's they are the more accepted classic ones.) Katie and I went to the Comic Strip Centre, which has history of comics, production of, etc. Most of the exhibits didn't have English explanations, and though we had a book from the desk that had the English translations, it was incomplete and difficult to follow at times. But, Belgium is the home to Tintin, the Smurfs, and the guy with a red mask (sadly, Katie has those pics, so you won't see him).

Beyond the obvious coolness of the Museum, it was housed in a former department store that was designed by Victor Horta, one of the first architects to encorporate the principles of Art Nouveau into buildings. It was wonder-bar, but there'll be more on him later.

So I Went to Europe...

The past few weeks have been extremely busy. Once school ended, I had a few days off before going to Boston to be with my family for Christmas. Since my brother and sister -in-law recently moved into a new house we spent most of the time moving boxes, painting walls, and doing other general home repair (well, my dad did, I just stuck to painting and carrying things). It was nice that I got to see the Family Roomie while in Boston.
On the 27th , I flew to Chicago to fly to London to get on a bus to Coventry to get on another bus to get to Birmingham to see Katie. It was an exhausting day-plus of travel, but worth it! I was abroad until Jan 14th . Katie and I spent time in London, Brussels, Brighton, and, of course, Birmingham, until Eden showed up on the 10th when we trekked up to and all around Scotland, where we saw Nessy!At the beginning of December, I received a lover-ly Olympus Stylus 750 digital campus for my birthday/Christmas. I have since taken hundreds of pictures, some more of which I will post, describing my travel adventures as the spirit leads. I assure in no way will I attempt to follow a linear narrative of events because that is too daunting a task that would surely fall by the wayside in light of my extremely busy semester that is just starting, but more on that later.