So here's my frustration(s):
1. I'm in grad school so that I can go be a teacher at a Christian college. Often, my school feels like a very dark, God-less place--an environment that I wouldn't want to put myself in because I know that I don't grow spiritually in such places. Nonetheless, I'm here so that I can ultimately be better qualified to teach at a Christian university, but the longer I'm here and I feel my relationship with God deteriorating (that's what it feels like now), the less I want to be here so that I can be in a Christian environment. If I were to leave and go to a more spiritually vibrant environment, I'm pretty sure that would intensify my desire to have my PhD so that I can go teach at a Christian college. A sticky wicket.
2. I'm getting sick and tired of being single, but thinking that I might meet a guy (it doesn't even have to be the guy, just anyone that is mildly interested in me romantically). I tried to write one of my "To Whom It May Concern" poems last night when I couldn't sleep, but I just ended up writing "God, why can't something just happen?" over and over.
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2 comments:
i feel you, dear. lord knows how much i feel you.
miss you too much
I'm so sorry. I'm with you on all of the above.
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