I don't think I would describe myself as lonely; I'm very good at keeping myself entertained. I just wish I had a partner in crime. I was reading/writing at Starbucks today; I'm generally quite productive when I go out to work, my bedroom having a high concentration of distractors--cable tv, my dvd and book collection, an internet accessible computer... So, my problem at Starbucks (and where ever I try to work) is I need a (mostly) silent partner. I need somebody to watch my stuff when I go to the bathroom. I need somebody to listen to me read aloud the occasional interesting/indiscernible sentence, comment, and then go back to her/his own work. I need somebody that I'm comfortable enough with that I don't feel the insecure need to be witty/clever/memorable/entertaining so that this individual will want to continue our relationship. In short, I need an old friend. Everyone around here is too new; I need to perform, or at least be in active getting-to-know you mode when around anyone. All my kindred spirits are too far away, and when I see them I want to be friendshiping, not companioning (does that make sense?).
Truthfully, I don't see a solution in sight. Once I finish my degree and I can either move near an old friend or spend time making an old friend without worrying about finishing up term papers!
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2 comments:
I feel the same way, Sarah. : ( I miss our times in college when we could just be together. I think that's the mark of a true friendship when you don't always have to be doing stuff all the time.
ditto to the above comments. thre are times where it would be nice to just be with friends. no performing necessary. Down with performing. :)
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