Wicked Cool

I'm in Boston visiting the rest of my family (and the Roomies). We drove out here--18 hours--straight--not tons of fun. The hours were whiled away however by playing my new PSP and listening to my Ipod through the car radio station (its been an electronic Christmas!). Even though I've gotten lots of new gadgets and I've been watching lots of movies, etc., I haven't been tied to my computer and cell phone like I normally am. Its been rather freeing, not being connected with anything I don't physically interact with. Sorry, however, to those of you whose voice messages I haven't gotten, blogs I haven't read, etc.

When we get back home, I'll have to return to a somewhat more normal life, write my syllabus, answer emails to students complaining about their grades-blah. That will cut into my narrative time (books: On Beauty, The Italian Secretary, a couple trashy paperbacks; movies: Sherlock Holmes: A Case of Evil (with the guy who plays Darcy in the new P&P), Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys, Meet the Fockers, Serenity (shiny, Eden, shiny!), Return of the Native (Thomas Hardy and Clive Owen), Mercy, Don't Look Now, Amnityville Horror; televison: Veronica Mars, The Tick, Home Movies)

Musically, I'm thinking about new groups, does anyone have an opinion on: The Dandy Warhols or James Blunt? How about Madonna's or the All-American Rejects' new albums?

Round Up the Wagons!

We're heading west to settle Catan! My brother's good friend for the past twenty-five years came over last night, and he, my brother, and I played Settlers of Catan for eleven hours! It was fun; I felt like it was J-term and I was back at Taylor.

Detox

So, I'm done. With everything. As my dad says, I'm a free agent. I stayed at school until ten Wednesday to finish grades, but then I didn't have to go back at all. The past few days have been great; I've been winding down from the hardest semester ever.

Thursday night we got half a foot of snow, and my normally one hour drive turned into three as I made my way to the movie theater for HPIV again and TL, TW, & TW. I think this HP movie is my second favorite but close to first. I waffle between whether I like the third or fourth book better, so its an understandably tough decision. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was amazing. I loved it; I cried for a bunch of it. For me that's one of the signs of a good movie. I haven't read the book in a long, long time and have only read half of the series, so I don't even live on the same street as intense fans. But still, I think it accurately represents Lewis's vision.

Over the past few days, I've also watched Silence of the Lambs, The Thin Man, Reign of Fire, The Reckoning, and Chinatown. Yesterday I read two trashy novels and decorated the Christmas tree. Today I watched a cool documentary on the National Geographic Channel about tattoos. I baked cookies. I did laundry. I started On Beauty by Zadie Smith (whose White Teeth I adore), which is a love letter to E. M. Forster's Howards End (which I also adore).

Yipee-Kai-Yai-Yea!

I've finished everything for the classes I'm taking. I had a final tonight that was okay; I don't think there's a danger of a C, and I got an A- on my paper, so huzzah! Even if I do get a B, I suppose I don't need to get into any more schools. This is a terminal degree if I can maintain the energy and pace of grad school for three and a half more years or so.

Tomorrow I've got grading to do; Wednesday, I'm 'giving a final' (aka sitting in the room while they turn in portfolios). I'll have to grade those, assign the final grades, and then I'll be done!

I can't wait to consume massive quantities of narratives (books and movies)! Thursday Katie and I are going to see Harry Potter IV and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Should be lots o' fun.

The End is Ne---Here!

I'm done; I'm done! I turned in my final paper last night. I still have a final test to take and lot o' grading to do, but that's much easier (or at least not as critical) than the research paper...well, the final is half of my grade, so I guess that's significant.

Now I can give real attention to my new obsession...Veronica Mars. I love it a lot, and I'm only a few episodes in. It's the combination of my two favorite tv shows--Twin Peaks and Buffy. There's an intriguing, overarching mystery, plus witty dialogue that blends high and pop culture. More ruminations on the show will surely follow.

What're You?

Season Seven - You're about looking at the world as
a whole, looking at the grand design of things,
the way good balances evil. You are Buffy
philosophy, and your best episode is
"Conversations with Dead People."

Which Season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Are You?
brought to you by

Gobble, Gobble!

Happy Thanksgiving all! I hope you had a wonderful time celebrating with family. I've took today and yesterday afternoon/evening off. My brain was fried. Now I really have to be on the ball for the next few days. Two papers to go and then...

One Thing Off the List

I finish my presentation on John Maynard Keynes last night. I don't think my presentation and annotated bibliography were especially great, but they got the job done. Now I'm off to the library to read about Dryden.

I Should Be Sleeping Right Now

or at the very least doing homework. I'm supposed to give a presentation on Tuesday and produce two well-researched/situated in the body of criticism 15-20 page papers by Monday and Tuesday of next week. I only have vaguely read for any of the three topics and have not really set much down on paper. I just spent the weekend on a quilting retreat with Mom and Bridget (it was planned in June, too far back to forsee the trouble I'd be in now!). That was interesting and fun. Sometime I'll show my work, but right now no digital camera :(, though I'm hoping Christmas brings one.

But I've been dragged to post because my Google homepage had a fun quote that I wanted to share:

Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box.

If anyone knows a ton about John Dryden and translation, Virgina Woolf and Orlando (both book and Sally Potter's film), or John Maynard Keynes and the Bloomsbury group and would like to chat...

The Goblet of Fire

I had fun. I'm impressed that my mom didn't fall asleep in the middle. I liked the movie. I don't have any profound or insightful thoughts about how it functions as an adaptation yet. It seemed rushed--I'm glad I've read the book a couple of times--but what else can you do with that size novel and still keep it watchable? Ralph Fiennes is awesome, I can't wait until the next movies when he'll be on screen more. All the boys are getting so dang cute. I enjoyed the Krum-Hermoine-Ron triangle. Cho's accent is adorable.

Overall, I think I still might like the third movie better, but I'm withholding final judgment until I've had multiple viewings, which will hopefully happen over break!

HP, HP, HP

The count down is on, just eleven hours and twenty-six minutes until Goblet of Fire.

Itunes has Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint's Celebrity playlist (no such luck in linking, I think you have to have itunes on your computer). Although Daniel generally strikes me as twitchy (not of the ferret variety) and a bit of a spaz in interviews, etc, his music choice fairly well articulated (although he feels the need to give biography at every turn "they have two albums and the second is great, but I've chosen from their first..." etc.) and thoughtful. Rupert's is mostly silly, in the sense that his justification for adding a song is "I went to the conert." I was also struck by the "it was great to finally meet;" he's seventeen, how long could he possibly have been pining to meet this singer?

A couple of days ago when I went to buy tickets for GoF, I was nervous because I'd waited so long. When I asked the girl working, "Have you sold out of tickets for the midnight showing of Harry Potter?" she shook her head, yes and remained silent. Sadly, I asked "When's the next show available?" thinking I could see it Friday morning. Her reply: "12:02." Needing clarification I asked, "As in a minute after the 12:01 showing?" "Yes." Rather than belabouring the point (seriously, doesn't 'midnight show' apply to both 12:01 and 12:02?), I got two tickets and left.

Now the only question is to wear the full on Hermoine outfit, or the "Single and Ready to Get Sirius" t-shirt.

All Hail, Google!

Okay, I know they're sort of taking over the world, but with good reason. Google is awesome. For awhile I've been using their customizable search/home page, adding nifty things like my gmail, word of the day, local show times, weather, top entertainment news, fun quotes, etc. But just recently did I think to add blogs! Now I can save precious seconds from my neurotic (seriously bordering on OCD) checking routine that I go through every time I go on the internet. No more do I have to tediously click to all the sites, but at a single glance, my google homepage tells me who of you have been good posters (lots of people: Eden, Lij, Katie, Elaine, Lana, Jeff) and who has been bad (pretty much just Emily)!

So, I encourage all of you to do likewise and hop on the google train, there's plenty of room on board! Whoo-whoo!

(Incidentaly, if any of you needs a gmail invite, let me know!)

(Um, spell check doesn't recognize google. Blogger is owned by google. Will wonders never cease?)

Disappointing

I should have learned my lesson, or rather, Eden's lesson. A number of years ago when we went to see The Talented Mr. Ripley, Eden, being in love with Jude Law, was disturbed by the content found therein and decided that one should not see a movie just because of an actor.

Now, obviously, a film's cast is central to the success of a film, but the actors cannot carry it. The trailer for Derailed struck me as unremarkable, there's nothing in the story that appeals to me. Had other people been in it, I probably wouldn't have wanted to see it. But because of Clive and Vincent, I thought, certainly, it'll be enjoyable. Sadly, no. Indeed the narrative was insipid and, lamentably, my boys weren't remarkable. Clive's American accent left something to be desired. Not really what I needed for my first movie theatre experience in two months.

I Should Have Learned By Now

That when this particular teacher suggests that we may get out of class early, she does not in fact mean it, that indeed, she means we'll be getting out of class ten minutes late, which at nine o'clock at night is rather aggravating, especially when you've got a 35 minute commute ahead of you.

My goal today is to finish a draft of one of my big papers. If I could get that done, boy, oh boy would that be energizing. Unfortunately, it won't happen if I stay whiling away time in blog land.

But, I do have to say that over the past couple of weeks I've had the opportunity to watch some fun new Irish films, both excellent: The Boys and Girl From County Clare (fun music, Andrea Corr fiddling, comedic, people you'll recognize) and Rory O'Shea was Here (humorous, but typically Irish--read, not ultimately uplifting--very poignant though, excellent use of Johnny Cash's song "Hurt" and James McAvoy, one to be looking for and loving).

A Cathartic Moment

So here's my frustration(s):

1. I'm in grad school so that I can go be a teacher at a Christian college. Often, my school feels like a very dark, God-less place--an environment that I wouldn't want to put myself in because I know that I don't grow spiritually in such places. Nonetheless, I'm here so that I can ultimately be better qualified to teach at a Christian university, but the longer I'm here and I feel my relationship with God deteriorating (that's what it feels like now), the less I want to be here so that I can be in a Christian environment. If I were to leave and go to a more spiritually vibrant environment, I'm pretty sure that would intensify my desire to have my PhD so that I can go teach at a Christian college. A sticky wicket.

2. I'm getting sick and tired of being single, but thinking that I might meet a guy (it doesn't even have to be the guy, just anyone that is mildly interested in me romantically). I tried to write one of my "To Whom It May Concern" poems last night when I couldn't sleep, but I just ended up writing "God, why can't something just happen?" over and over.

Happy New Month!

Where are the days going? Do you realize that I only have four weeks left before all my papers are due? That there are only five weeks left in the semester? Egad.

I: finally started one of my papers, think I have an idea for the second, am clueless about the third. So, it goes from alright to downright scary. But, I'm no longer working at ATL or going to conferences this semester (although I do have a quilt retreat coming up before Thanksgiving), so, hopefully, I'll be able to kick it into high gear!

Because I only have time to watch ten or fifteen minutes at a time of fun movies, my queue moves along slowly. I did finally get through The Doctor and the Devils, starring Timothy Dalton, Julian Sands (yum!), Jonathan Pryce, and Stephan Rea (whoo-hoo!) based on a screenplay written by Dylan Thomas!

On a separate note, I am continually amazed by the things you can buy online. Will wonders never cease?

Sleepy Sleep

Last night I went to a Halloween party; it was rather fun. We were all dressed as allegorical figures; I went as grief. I was a grieving widow with a black hat with veil, black gloves, a calla lily, pearls (a rich grieving widow!)--it was a bit Jackie O. Once again Josh set an incredible table...he told me that every man after him was going to be a disappointment because none would be able to live up to him. While I agree, I think the obvious (he's not looking for a girl) will be able to sustain me. (Besides I like to cook, so I don't mind if that's my job.)

The extra hour of sleep was wonderful...I went to the earlier church service instead of the later one. This worked out nicely; I ran into Jeff, who I haven't seen in a long time, and set up dinner on Thursday. I might go to his small group, too, though I really oughtn't give up such a huge block of time, academically. However, spiritually, I need to have some fellowship. Though there are other Christians at my school, I'm not really tight with any of them, and I feel myself becoming jaded and hard in the environment.

I got to see Katie! This was wonderful; I wish she and the other girls from school could all be nearby enough that we could do stuff together. (As in running errands, having meals, etc. the everyday things, as opposed to the big we-are-getting-together-and-doing-something sort of things.)

I took a nap (despite daylight savings' gift of an hour) and am still a bit discombobulated, hence the lack of transitions between thoughts.

A Oath to Myself

I haven't been to a movie in over a month. I hate it. I hate that I don't have the time and have to be so discerning in which films I see in the theatre because I don't get to go every week. This weekend I was finally going to be able to visit my local Kerasotes, and the two films I'd been eagerly anticipating (Proof and Serenity) both left on Thursday. Double-guh-err.

Today I saw my first trailer for Derailed, a Clive Owen/ Jennifer Aniston film that I was slightly aware of and, well, excited inasmuch as I adored Clive but am not crazy about Jennifer. So watching the trailer with mild interest, I catch a brief (and I mean brief) shot of a bearded man that sent me rushing to IMDB to find...YES! it was! it is! be still my heart!

Vincent Cassel

My top two celebrity crushes are appearing in a film together. Come hell or high water, I am seeing that film opening weekend.

Autumn is a Collegiate Season

I love today. I didn't set an alarm clock, but got up around 8:30 satiated. I was able to go for a long walk in the woods. I've been able to be semi-productive, but yet relaxed...grading papers while watching the second half of The Cooler and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. I don't have to drive anywhere, go to class, nothing. All that is required of me is that I sit at home (my favorite thing ever), drink hot chocolate, and listen to British 80s pop music.

Sure, I've got lots of school work to be doing, which I'm rocking! (98 on my Irish presentation last week--nobody gets full credit in grad school.) But I have time to concentrate on school, since I'm not leaving the state this weekend! Huzzah! Huzzah!

Done and Done.

Finished with pumping the resume with conference presentations for now. I'm tired and need a normal weekend to do normal weekend things like grade papers, read books, and work on term papers. I put my two week notice in at ATL because I feel overwhelmed by the fact that I haven't had a chance to do anything to get ahead, only keep my head above water. Almost every night before class, I'm still finishing the reading until the hour before, which doesn't give me much time to process the information so that I have smart things to say in class. Tonight I'm going to see how much of To the Lighthouse I can get through before falling asleep. Virgina Woolf (Woolfie, as I've taken to calling her) needs a rather alert mind to comprehend. But I'll try.

Shocking

My presentation went well even though I was talking a mile a minute in order to get all my information in before 8:40. I didn't want to be the person who keeps everyone after class; people just want to go home by that point. Plus, I nearly electrocuted myself plugging in the dvd player to show a clip. My hand has mostly stopped tingling at this point.

How about a media update? I read J.M. Coetzee's Disgrace. I read Brian Friel's Translations and am watching a movie based on his play Philadelphia, Here I Come. I partially read Lytton Strachey's Eminent Victorians and Salaman Rushdie's Midnight's Children. I haven't had much time to watch anything else, all though I am catching the odd episode of Sex and the City before I go to bed. Amusing.

Right now, I wish I had time to reread all the Harry Potter books because everyone at the conference knew the minutest details about the stories that I couldn't remember (and I like to think I have a pretty sharp reading eye). Alas, probably not until Christmas or even next summer with how many books and movies I've said I'll deal with over Christmas break. I mean I haven't even seen Serenity yet--that's how busy I am.

Under Your Spell

I just returned yesterday from a five-day Harry Potter conference in Salem, MA. It was exhilarating and exhausting. Programming from 9am to 11pm, plus an hour or so of transportation on either end, plus trying to spend time with my brother/sister-in-law/niece, as well as my roomie/her husband/their daughter (my goddaughter). I had a ton of fun, got a lot of good ideas on how to use HP in the class, and communed with fellow HP lovers. There's lots more I could say, and I hope to have the time, but for now, I'll just link to my favorite part of the trip: Harry and the Potters, a punk band comprised of Harry Potter Year 4 and Harry Potter Year 7, these brothers rock! They have awesome songs like "Save Ginny Weasley," "Voldemorte Can't Stop the Rock," "SPEW," "The Missing Arm of Viktor Krum," and "Stick it to Dolores" amongst others. They were awesome. I bought t-shirts; I ordered cd's. You should, too.

Beyond Me

I love BtVS and James Marsters/Spike, but I just don't know if I'm ready for this...

Gearing Up

I must say it. I love my class this semester. All really good kids, and mostly decent writers. We had so much fun in class yesterday talking about genres and rewriting "The Devil Went Down to Georgia". It was a blast!

That aside, I am concerned about the class. I'm having conferences next week, so no class, then because of my two conferences (yikes!), I'm going to 'cancel' class for Monday and Friday of the next week! I say 'cancel' because I'm going to give them assignments to do instead. (I like to call them asynchronous class meetings by assigning WebBoard stuff.) But I have to figure out those assignments and everything for the next two weeks--today. Sadly, I'm not generally more than a day or two ahead of class, so its time for massive planning!

October is going to be a very busy month with conferences I'm attending and trying to start on my end of term papers. I have three so I need to be getting them done early.

Also, I'm going to a Halloween party with stringent costume requirements, so does anyone have any ideas for an allegorical figure? The predominate color has to be black, though splashes of color, props are acceptable. Basically fancy-schmancy. What could I be? Magnamity? Control? Grace?

Black and White...and Green?

Its midnight and I have half a dozen papers left to grade before I can go to sleep, so this'll be short. I saw Wicked yesterday. It's fantastic and deserving of all the accolades it's received. It is rather disturbing, however. In a very postcolonial rewrite, it defamilarizes The Wizard of Oz in, at times, uncomfortable ways. It challenges the notion that morals are as absolute as I like to believe, as I know to believe.

And the comparisons that could be made between the wizard and our president were not flattering...I'm not sure I want to make them, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. The idea of creating an enemy/situation to distract from his mediocrity. I live in that uncomfortable place between apathy regarding politics and being well-informed. I have a vague notion of the goings-on, but not a firm grasp (who has time to read all the news and discern the truth?). Still, I care and have opinions (rather dangerously held for one not so up on situations). I feel awkward disagreeing (or even just commenting) amongst the politically charged (extremely liberal) conversations on campus, but I still lean towards participating because I rarely have facts to back up my beliefs (again, dangerous). Well, no time to dwell (my problem in the first place), papers beckon.

Another One Bites the Dust

Another week that is. Sure, I've got a bunch that I'd like to grade before I teach tomorrow, and I've got to figure out something to teach, but all in all--done. My presentation went pretty well (I think). It was very conversational with breaks to discuss our reading of the book, so it took an hour and a half. My strong concluding statement was a whimpered "so, I like it." Humph. Something to work on. Now I just need to figure out what to write my paper on for this book. If I do it in the next week, I'll be on track for the paper a month goal that I had. Realistically, I'll be happy if I finish it before November hits.

I'm told tomorrow's dinner will be spinach bisque and couscous. Yum--too bad he's gay because I'd marry him for sure!

Tomorrow I'm giving a presentation on Peter Carey, so wish me luck! I still have lots of work to do on it. And I'm not sure if I'll finish reading the book (Jack Maggs), but I've read it before, so...

Lana had a post not so long ago about how pretty people on Taylor's campus are. I never realized that until I went to NIU where the people are not as attractive. I probably shouldn't be so excited about it, but at Taylor I was in the group of larger folks, and probably the not as attractive. Here, where the SES is lower (why should that matter? It shouldn't, but it does), I feel quite adequate. Not that I should be excited or care about that, but a little part of me is.

Yesterday walking to my far away car after class, I felt collegiate. I had my cool bag; I was listening to good music, and its almost fall (hurry up already!), the eternal season of college brochures and pictures. It was nice.

Bar Hopping

Yup, that's what I did yesterday (well, does two count?). I went out with some fellow scholars near school early in the evening, where I made a fool of myself ordering a "Bailey's...straight...um, with ice or is it on the rocks?...". I'm told 'straight' means plain with nothing, so my adding 'with ice' negated that. I don't think I'm totally to blame because the waitress asked what I wanted with it to which I said "nothing, straight" but then added the "with ice part". I simply wanted to convey I didn't want it mixed with anything. I then learned that I should have ordered a "Bailey's neat," which mean shaken and chilled, but not on ice.

The next bar I went to was near home with people from work. In the space of a week, my manager called off her wedding and quit. So this was a moving on party for her and since I really like her and had never been out with them, I felt I should go. It was an odd experience.

My first mistake was not dressing up. I just wore what I had on for teaching earlier that day: pinstripe pants and a sweater; my hair was in a classy up-do. While (if I may say so) I looked darn cute at school, I looked rather stuffy at the bar. Not being appropriately costumed (read slutty low cut shirt and jeans), I felt rather silly trying to dance (grind?) to 'Dirrrty' with my co-workers. Had I been in character, maybe it wouldn't have been as bad.

While the clothes were my fault, the bar clientele was not. There was karoke. There was lots of country being played. My crowd consisted of mostly 20-something pretty girls, myself being one of the larger ones. However, compared to most of the other females at the bar, I was definitely on the smaller side. The male clientele were either really old (like I was worried they'd totter off the stage and their brittle bones would smash into a million pieces on the 8'x8' dance floor) or in their 30s and wearing, I kid you not, Hooters tank tops (that's right) signed by the Hooters girls! Not exactly the place you want to 'mingle'.

Overall, I did have fun though, but its not something I feel the need to do every week or maybe even every month. I probably would have had an equal amount of fun (albeit different fun) at home reading Jack Maggs or watching Ned Kelly.

Hmm, do I need a life-size cut out of James Marsters? I wonder.

Whoosh!

I feel like I've finally got a moment to catch my breath. Its been a crazy, busy past few days! This weekend I didn't get much homework done because I was so busy. Saturday morning was the Hike for Life, where they raised over $40,000 and I got slightly sunburned, but I did find out that there are bea-ut-iful walking paths along the river near downtown.

That took me into the afternoon, where I furtively tried to read Howards End, but kept falling asleep (not because its boring, I love the book) until I left for Katie's. We went and saw The Brothers Grimm, which is phenomenal. Its over the top campy in places because its playing with the convention of the fairy tale genre, but subtly, so I can understand why the unwashed masses didn't get it. The special effects were wonderful; Monica Belluci was creepy; and Heath Ledger and Matt Damon were playing unusual roles (okay, they're both used to playing the hero, but Damon as an arrogant jerk, not sweet and sensitive and Ledger as bookish, unsure, and squirrelly, not brooding and confident). I loved it!

We also saw Red Eye, which was fine. I was entertained for my time and money. I do wish they would have let Cillian Murphy use his real, Irish accent--that would have kept me awake at night.

Then Sunday an odd assortment of us (Katie, Elaine and Joe, two of my friends from school, and myself) went to see the Toulouse-Lautrec exhibit at the Art Institute. It was fantastic! Rather crowded, but still very neat. I love all the poster art that leads into the art deco, Mucha, era of art. I learned some interesting things like: Picasso and Degas were involved in the Monmarte sect of artists and interacted with/were influenced by/were influential to Toulouse-Lautrec. I cleverly decided that if I ever had a black cat for a pet, I would name him Steinlen.

The first part of this week has been a race to finish all the reading I didn't do over the weekend, and figure out what to do in my class. I think I'm squared away for Friday, so all I have to do is work, work today on my stuff. I'm giving a presentation next week on Jack Maggs and Peter Carey, which I'm excited about because I have a burgeoning interest in Australian literature (well, the interest has been there a long time, the burgeoning part is trying to figure out how to fit it into my research agenda).

I'm off to [hopefully] have the most productive day of my life!

Same Ol' Same Ol'

I've been voraciously reading and watching movies. This week's novels are Howards End (by E.M. Forester) and Abeng (Michelle Cliff). I think I want to write one of my papers on Howards End so I watched the movie. Also, in the effort to move along my Blockbuster queue, I watched Twist, which I love as a modern update of a classic though definitely not an 'ultimately uplifting film.'

Friday we're having a meeting to organize the EGSA efforts for Hurricane Relief. The Hike for Life that I've been helping plan for the next few months is happening this Saturday, so pray for good weather. Sunday, I'm going downtown to the Art Institute to see Toulouse-Lautrec with a host of my friends (Lij, you should come too!).

So, very busy, lots of things, but nothing out of the ordinary. (Although with the help of clever plotting from a friend, I was able to oh-so-casually ask my crush to the regular Friday night dinner. Alas, to no avail though, for he declined.)

Can't Every Weekend Have Three Days?

I seriously don't know what I would've done without a three-day weekend. I had to read Virginia Woolf's The Voyage Out, which was over four hundred pages, and Jean Rhys's Wide Sargasso Sea, which is nearly two hundred. I've got lots to grade, plus I want to start working on presentations and papers for the semester. It's my goal to be on top of everything, but I just don't know if I can do it. Already, I'm barely making it and its only the third week!

I keep thinking about all these people that I should call, see, or make an effort with friendship wise, but I just don't want to put in the time or energy. I know its terrible. By nature, I'm the sort of person that wants fewer, deeper friendships. With the few from college that are more important to me than anything, and the ones I easily see at school/work that share so many common interests, I don't really feel much like trying to cultivate others.

At the same time, I really miss having close Christian friends that are close by to do things with, to keep each other accountable, to sharpen one another. But the amount of time and energy it would take to make one of those friends? I just don't know that I have it.

What Is There to Say?

Bad things are happening around me. A professor who has taught for 38 years at my school died suddenly. He was teaching one of my classes this semester. I only had one class meeting with him, so I didn't know him too well. I've never heard an unkind word spoken about him, and that's something considering how vicious even a 'less' competitive school like mine is. He seems to have been one of those truly inspirational teachers that enriched every single one of his students and colleagues. When I was an undergrad, one of my teachers killed himself. I didn't enjoy the class after that, and I doubt I'll be able to muster up much enthusiasm for this one.

On the national scale, what is there but Katrina? It seems like we should have better prepared, but it'll do no use complaining about that now. Rather, what to do with the aftermath? I think I'd like to do more than just throw money at the Salvation Army or Red Cross. Obviously those are good things to do, but it seems so clinical and cold. Maybe I don't have a good concept of the scope of this issue, but with the government giving $10.5 billion, what would my fifty bucks do? I feel like New Orleans need people to help and places to go. My parents are thinking about how to have our extra room/s be available to a small family. While the idea of inviting a stranger to live with us for--what? a year? two?--seems scary, it does also seem to be the Christian response. I suppose its the ongoingness of helping that will be the true test, not just the immediate response. How many of us were actively concerned about the Tsunami victims last week? Surely, they're still far from rebuilding a normal life, but the aid has probably dropped radically.

I don't know what to do. I feel inadequate. One of my friends is rather fired up about this. He is bullying his students into donating money, and made them do writings on how they were individually going to help the Katrina survivors. I made my class cookies and joked with them about taking a field trip to see the new Harry Potter film in November. Clearly, he's the better man, but it made me want to be better.

New Shoes!

I'm so excited about the new shoes that I got at work today. I've just been waiting for September because of employee discounts, etc. (Plus my real job just started paying me, so I don't have to worry about minimum wage covering gas at over three dollars a gallon!) Ironically, there was another employee that day that wanted to buy the exact same pair of shoes in the same size. The store only gets one of each size in each color, so we had to flip a coin to see who ordered them and who got to take 'em home that day. I won!

Ironic

Clearly, I'm not quite clever enough. I've been trying to find what the crazy heck is going on with the code that make the quiz results so not pretty on the screen. But I can't find it. And I've spent upwards of twenty minutes. And I've got--surprise, surprise--papers to grade, books to read, and miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.

As If You Didn't Know Already

I was trying to avoid filling my blog with these, but seriously, how could I refuse?

Pure Nerd 82 % Nerd, 39% Geek, 34% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd. The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful. Congratulations! Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 95% on nerdiness You scored higher than 54% on geekosity You scored higher than 54% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid

Well, At Least It Was Free

So, I had an awful dining experience at Ruby Tuesday's. Lots of sitting and not being waited on, and then after talking to the manager, seeing our server briefly, lots more not being waited on. Still the manager was incredibly nice and he pushed us to get dessert since "obviously you girls won't be paying for dinner tonight." We did feel weird just walking out without a check or anything. Ultimately, we weren't angry or annoyed, just mildly irritated. And the graciousness of the manager made me quite happy with them overall.

I Think I Was Flirting

So, I am not good at the whole guy/girl, relationship developing sort of thing. All I know is that there is a very intriguing boy at school that I had to do some hard lobbying (this may be where the said flirting occurred) to get to come to the party last night. But he did come and said he was glad he did. We chatted a bit; it was nice. I'm still intrigued, but how, oh how to find opportunities for more and deeper conversation?

My favorite part of the discussion last night, in regards to March of the Penguins and a friend of his telling him about Donald Miller's use of penguins as an analogy for faith in Blue Like Jazz, I said "It's a good book. I know you don't really need more to read right now, but it's good for the soul." Him, "I need good for the soul now." Sigh. He graduated from Wheaton; he mentioned a friend from church. Double sigh.

(So, I'm loathe to be like Xanga and make people sign up to leave comments, but these spammy ones are annoying me. I don't think I've gotten a true anonymous comment, so I'm thinking of turning off the anyone can comment feature. Hmm.)

First Week Down, Fifteen to Go

Well, practically down. I have to teach tomorrow, but they're doing an in-class writing sample, so I'll be able to start grading the QHQ's they're turning in. I hope to have those, plus the writing samples graded by Monday. I hope.

I literally have hundreds of pages to read by next week (that'll be every week actually). I have no film class that allows me to watch movies as homework instead of some of that reading. Plus, I started the ritual bleeding today. Fortunately, Thursdays I can curl up in bed and alternate between reading and sleeping...with the occasional foray to the kitchen and the internet!

First Two Days

Well, we're in the thick of it already, but I don't feel like I've hit my stride. I am going to be very busy this semester. I planned my own syllabus (unlike last year's required, canned regurgitation), so I'll be much more vested in the class. I know that I'll be getting two assignments on Friday that I want to have graded by Monday--this from the girl who was that horrible teacher that kept papers for over a month before returning them last semester.

I'm slightly cowed by the syllabus I got tonight. I just don't feel smart enough to accomplish the tasks to the high level of achievement needed to impress. I don't doubt that I can get them done, but heck, so far I'm shooting for the PhD 4.0.

With all that, I'm partially in charge of the English graduate student organization and the mentor program for new teaching interns. That's lots of doings at this point. There's a mentor party on Friday and an EGSA dinner on Sunday.

I feel like my weekends are already full, what with two conferences in October that will each take three-four days out of my time. Not that I would turn down the chance to build my CV.

So...deep breath...here we go.

T-minus One!

Tomorrow is the first day of school! I'm so excited!! I got an email from one of my professors with an article and a short story to read before the first day, and I was thrilled.

Sadly, this means the end of daily movies and time for books, etc. I've started listening to Eragon on cd during all my trips to and from school. Some movies I've seen recently: Cafe au Lait, Monster-in-Law, French Kiss, I finished Firefly.

It Must Be Said

Happy Birthday, Mr. Marsters. He certainly should have been included in VH-1's Hottest 40 over 40. Rawr.

The Last Weekend

I bought an adult uniform today, er, a suit that is. I feel as though I've spent an awful lot of money lately that I probably shouldn't, so I think this will be one of my last big ATL purchases. (I hope!) I did have an awesome time. We ate at this very delicious restaurant called Pompei where I had hand cut chicken ravioli. Way yum--to use a technical culinary term. Amazing focaccia bread at the table and fantastic 80s soundtrack.

The one weird-slash-amusing thing was the bathrooms. They had very exciting pounded, stainless steel sinks. In the stalls, however, lies another story. The only operational one with toilet paper was the handicapped/baby-changing one. The table was folded down, which showed to my great amusement:

• 1. a latex glove dispenser. Do you know any mother that puts gloves on everytime she changes her child? That would seem to double the expense of having an infant that goes through a diaper every ninety seconds. There was one on top of the trash can that had been blown up like a balloon and tied at the wrist, which seem like the only logical use.
• and 2. pictures illustrating how the table should be used. A child is shown falling off above the warning 'do not leave child unattended'. Okay, but above the captions 'lay down towel' and 'dispose of towel' there was the diapered child placing the changing towel down and then throwing it away. If the child was that capable would there really be a need for the changing table?! It was one of those times that I wished I had a camera phone (or at least a digital) because a picture would heighten the effectiveness of this post by at least 34%.

Happy Birthday!

I'm in a happy, giddy mood. School starts Monday! I just saw Sky High! (It's awesome.) When I went to see who played the hot Warren Peace (child of super hero mom and super villain dad), I flipped through the birthdays listed on IMDB. Edward Norton, Patrick Swayze, Christian Slater, and Robert Redford. Way to go August 18th.

She Did It Again

Darn her. Okay not really, but still... The friend of mine that got me started on Buffy has a new one for me. Doesn't she know, hasn't she realized? I'm powerless against a catchy narrative, and with tv shows on dvd, there's nothing to stop me from consuming said narrative in a gluttonous manner. Gorging myself at the all-you-can-eat buffet of Joss Whedon.

It's called Firefly and is sort of Star-Trek set in a pirate/western genre. They shoot guns and ride on horses on planets, but tool around the galaxy in a space ship, smuggling goods. The good/bad thing about this one is it only lasted for one (a half?) season. There's only 14 episodes, so this obsession will be shorter lived, but already I'm sad that there's not more. There is a movie coming out in a few months though, so maybe that will generate interest and bring the show back. Hey, canceled Family Guy got another shot, so it could happen.

Films, Films, Films!

I've been watching lots of movies. Yay. The Commitments (Erin go bragh!), Godforsaken (a Dutch film whose main character wore a White Sox jacket the whole time), A Midsummer Night's Rave (yet another modern Shakespeare with Andrew Keegan, this one, however, is not very good at all).

I also saw American Splendor, which was great. It was a messy, fragmented identity of a film. It's got voice-over narration by Harvey Pekar while Paul Giamatti plays the character Harvey Pekar as he is creating his comic book American Splendor starring the character Harvey Pekar, who is portrayed differently in the books by various illustrators. All the different levels is fascinating.

One part of narratives that I love is parallels and multi-leveled stories. I love in Possession how the modern researchers match the poets they investigate. I love how Willow's addiction to witchcraft is like a drug and also similar to Buffy's struggle with her relationship with Spike. I love the idea of Jesus as the new Adam, starting a new world, giving us a clean start.

Double Feature

Just in case any one was wondering, I have proof that my family and friends suit me quite well. Where else but my inner circle would I find people willing and equally excited to watch Kill Bill, Vol. 2 followed by Ice Princess?

Mood Swing

I feel lonely. Not alone, but lonely. I didn't have anyone in town to be with, to look at the tiny shard of moon in the sky and share the silence. I thought I'd call someone, but everyone was unavailable (or it was too late to call). One person did call me, but he just wanted to find out how his ex-girlfriend was doing.

So, I guess its the tv and me. Oh, look Angel is on.

Sweet, Sweet Freedom

I've been off for two days now. Yesterday, I went to Madison with my brother and Josh. (Ain't I a woman? I have two men...okay that reference is probably only funny if you've seen/read December Bride, but it gave us lots of fun studying for comps) It was a wonderful day, perfect weather, used bookstores, Mexican sidewalk cafe, Jamba Juice. Then we watched The Grudge, which had me scared spitless until it ended. It just stopped, not a scary non-closure stop like The Ring, just we couldn't come up with a way to make this end, so we're done. Right....now!

Today I worked, but won't anymore until next Saturday! Then I finished The Historian (Elizabeth Kostova), but since I've been chastised once for spoiling books, I am including my concluding thoughts on it in the comments in the spoilers post. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. It's the love-child of Possession (A.S. Byatt) and Dracula (Irish Bram Stoker). It isn't quite as good as Possession because while Kostova does an amazing job of weaving various documents and narratives together, she doesn't really have distinct voices. It is just clever ways of showing information that only certain characters can have. I don't feel as though myself and the main protagonists have actually found any information. But still, a cut far above much fiction out there. Plus, killer subject matter. You don't have to run, a brisk trot will do.

Spoilers in the comments!

And There Was Much Rejoicing

We're done! Or, I'm done. My take home final and in-class test were co-authored by evil spirits, but they are behind me now. I also worked a bunch this week and last, so biggish paychecks tomorrow and next Friday when the eagle flies.

Ironically, I'm also stoked because as of next week I'll only be working one shift a week, so there'll be more time to play and work on the work I love.

Revisiting an Old Favorite

While working on my final, I found one of the scavenger hunt answers on the special features on one of my dvds, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. So while I was doing the rest of my final (it's almost done), I watched (or rather listened to) the movie. I knew I loved the movie and music, but I'd forgotten Sting and what a s.o.b he is. Delicious.

I still have to finish my paper and put another hour or two into my final. Plus I have a bit of a test to study for for Thursday. Also, I'd love to clean my room; I want to start the autumn with a fresh start--scholastically and domestically.

Where I've Been

On Thursday, I drove with my parents to Gettysburg, PA for a family get together. I haven't been on a computer for four days! That may sound pathetic, but for an addict like me who normally checks blogs and emails at least twice a day (generally three to four), it's been a while. And there's much I'd like to say (and comment on after catching up on everybody), BUT I have to finish my linguistics paper (presentation was ok, I'd give myself a B, but I hope he gives me an A), work on my linguistics homework, and do the take-home portion of the final. Plus there's a meeting for those of us on the mentoring committee at school, the two movies I rented from Blockbuster, my three mail Blockbusters movies, and the final hundred pages of The Historian to finish. So I must discipline myself to this quick, banal post and then I'm off!

Skewed Priorities

Tomorrow I'm giving a presentation on Ogham in my class. I was hoping to have my paper done as well, but I haven't even started it yet. And rather than starting it, I'm planning on going to Blockbuster to get movies because I don't want my coupons to expire while I'm out of town this weekend. At 24, shouldn't I have more self-control?

Ok, That's Enough

I have to admit that I am ready for fall. I want to be able to wear jeans, sweaters, and shoes other than flip-flops. I want to have my real job back. I want to be teaching, not selling clothes. I want to be studying what I am ultimately interested in, not just mildly intrigued by (or required to to graduate). I want to have a regular schedule. I want to be busy enough that I actually get things done, rather than thinking "I can do that whenever," which really is "I'll do that never." I want the leaves to change colors. I want to walk in the woods without worrying that I'll melt. I enjoy the summer, but if you're not in a place where you can go swimming outdoors frequently, three weeks is sufficient.

The Joy of Dance

This music video by Ok Go is brilliant, even better than Spike Jonze's Fat Boy Slim "Praise You" video. And that's saying a lot. The dancing is amazing (the lead reminds me of Dr. Venture), plus the song rocks!

(The video may take a minute to load, but it's the best quality one that I found. This one comes up more quickly, but has the website in the corner of the player's screen.)

Miss Wizard

I'm always surprised when I notice that I haven't posted in a number of days. I mentally compose numerous entries that never make it to the screen, even though I read other blogs twice a day. Well, onwards and upwards.

I love Diet Coke.

A lot.

Yesterday I conducted an experiment to evaluate all these new products, so I had a glass of Diet Coke, Diet Coke with Splenda, and Coca-Cola Zero. I tasted to see which I liked better, and then switched 'em all again to see if I could still distinguish between them. I could.

The results:
Coca-Cola Zero is very distinct from the other two (I didn't have a regular Coke, because I don't really care about how close it is to that). It probably does taste more like Coke, which I don't like (yes, I just prefer the taste of Diet Coke; it's not really a calorie thing), so never again shall that product darken my door.

Diet Coke with Splenda is very similar to Diet Coke, but slightly sweeter. If you've been to the Continent, it reminds me of Coca Light, which is even better than Diet Coke! I'm not sure that I can quite say that the Splenda variety Diet Coke trumps the original, but I would just as gladly drink it.

I'm curious about the future of all these products because I can't really believe that the market could support so many products that essentially serve the same purpose (no calorie Coke). I took the time to find out the difference, but do most people really care?

Charlie Corpuscie Says

"Be nice to me, I gave blood today." Just in case you were thinking about mean, I thought you should know.

I watched About Adam today. It's an Irish film, so I already was predisposed to liking it, although I'm not certain I can give it a completely positive endorsement. The story deals with Stuart Townsend's character and his relationship with an entire family--each of three sisters and a brother. The story is never told through Adam's point of view, rather subjectively from each of the siblings. The unsettlingly part of the film comes at the end--after we've seen a very different interpretation of Adam from each of the other characters--when Adam looks straight at the camera, like he has hoodwinked us, too. It's creepy; I don't know if I've been taken in by his smarmy good looks or if I'm too clever for that.

Book 7 Comes Out When?

Well, I've just finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and am waiting for my mom to finish so we can talk about it. She's only fifty pages behind, so it shouldn't take long.

The release party was fun-ish. I had a killer Hermione costume and merrily passed out S.P.E.W. buttons while knitting in the cafe. My friend was working, so I only got to see her intermittently at breaks; otherwise it was me and the other faithfuls who were there at five o'clock to wait. [I read the book Ice Haven, a graphic novel, by the same guy who did Ghost World while I was there. That deserves its own post on another day, but if I never get to it, at least its been given passing mention.]

I read the first two hundred pages that night, but was unable to read anymore until late Saturday night due to much solo driving and a wedding. I hoped I could soldier through the night and finish it, but alas, I fell asleep after a mere fifty pages. So, I skipped church and have read the day away (Ooo. Wouldn't some Christians just want to burn me at the stake?!)

And now, tears only now beginning to dry, I ask...

• So, Snape really is evil? The red herring, isn't actually a herring?
• Who is R.A.B.? (Surely there's a list of every possible character from the other books already out there.)

oh, Mom's done, so for now I'll just ask the biggest question....

When is the next one coming out?

The Ultimate Fix

I thought I was over it, finished, but who was I kidding? I bought the entire Buffy series on eBay this weekend. V. exciting. I now can watch any episode at any moment. I want to watch "Buffy Vs. Dracula" followed by "Once More With Feeling" and then "School Hard" and "Hush"? Done.

Tonight though, I spent my time making "S.P.E.W." buttons for the Harry Potter release party. I also put together my costume. It's fab; I look quite like a British schoolgirl, complete with knee socks.

And after HP, there's a wedding to attend, which I should have asked my crush rather than the safe gay friend, but that's not the problem. My dress. It's a bit tight; so do I find another outfit, or not eat for the next few days? Would that even work? I've never tried such a thing. We'll see.

Film at it's Most Noir

The study of film/literature comprises a small portion of the English department's resources where I attend. The few of us often get together and dream about luxuries we don't have, such as seminar classes. Tragically, there is one woman about to graduate who will not have had any seminars in one of her fields of study. Because we only have one professor, who is bound to teach the courses required for the MA in Film/Lit, and he only has taught one class per semester, we've been s.o.l.

But--this fall we have a new professor coming from Wales and we have been hoping for more opportunities for classes, especially seminar classes. When trying to think of what we'd like to study in a seminar, inevitably the topic of film noir arises. Like I've learned to do so well, I smile and nod understandingly while offering such non-specific approvals as "yes" and "definitely."

The dirty truth was, until recently, I'd never seen much film noir and didn't really care one way or the other about studying it. I'd seen The Maltese Falcon in a film history class and rented Double Indemnity. I really enjoyed both of them, but could hardly claim familiarity on a genre based on two films. Well, thanks to my public library, and the fact that I have a two week lapse between re-reading Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince, I've seen three more films and think I am qualified (as far as the casual viewing masses) to have AN OPINION on the subject.

I watched The Asphalt Jungle (yay, John Huston), The Postman Always Rings Twice, and Murder, My Sweet. (I also have The Big Sleep but haven't watched it yet.) Guess what? Film noir is awesome. The dialouge is snappy, the characters are gritty, and I just like it. Now when we pontificate on subjects worthy of our academic attention, I can smile and nod, knowingly.

More Thoughts on the Raison d'être of Blogs

Okay, thoughts isn't exactly the right word, just some quick links. I've been reading my friend's blog from when she first started, right as we were finishing college. It was fun, there's so much of her personality there. It made me remember who we were two years ago, even if it is just her random thoughts and goings-on. So, if in two or ten or more years, I look back on this site (the Internet never deletes anything) I'll have fun remembering. Although. I hope it isn't quite as bad as Amy's Diary.

Post Secret

Post Secret is a fantastic website, organization, quest, thing. Um, people send in homemade postcards with a secret on them. Some are funny, some are sad, but all seem so sincere. Often I find a part of myself resonating with the secret sharer.

So Much to Say, So Little...Energy? Motivation?

I have been thinking of a number of clever, pithy subjects to write about for the past week, but every time I sit at the computer I turn into the dog with ADD, distracted by the nearest butterfly fluttering past and never get to actually writing my blog. Perhaps another reason for this is a friend, upon learning I keep a blog, asking "So this is basically a journal/diary of what you do?" I said "Yeah, something like that" to which she replied, "Not to sound mean, but who cares?" Who cares, indeed?

I don't actually think anyone beyond a very few friends reads this. (But that is helpful seeing as those friends live far away.) In some ways, keeping a blog is just good writing practice, but I never sit down and say "Gee I feel like working on my communication skills today; I think I'll blog." So is there any value in what this is? Many of the blogs I enjoy reading have a theme (academic, knitting, satire), but I've not done that. I don't know that there's one thing to which I would want to solely dedicate my blog. Maybe my problem is that I am not envisioning or invoking an audience.

Although I don't know that that's really a problem per say.

From Panera

So, here I am sitting in Panera, using their free wi-fi. I just wanted to see if it works and indeed it does. Shazam.

I Caught a Shoplifter

Well, "caught" being a relative term. I thought this one girl who was walking out of the store was acting a little funny with her gi-normous purse looking awfully full. And when I went to clean out her dressing room, I found a ripped out magnetic tag. Grr.

It just made the whole day feel icky. What was I doing wrong? Could I have stopped it? Why would somebody do that? Now, I'm suspicious of people walking around the store and I hate feeling that way.

That was Wednesday. On Thursday, when I wasn't supposed to work, I got a pathetic call from somebody needing a sub, so I went in, but I was in a cranky mood to begin with. Then cleaning the dressing rooms, I found another tag.

Why? What is it that you need so badly that you have to steal it? And these must be premeditated crimes because some sort of seam ripper or scissors is needed to get those things out. A friend from school said that its a rush for people, that they're addicted to the adrenaline. Whatever the reason, they're jerks who make me feel bad.

Playing Hard is Work

I could have sworn I'd posted some time more recently than Friday (its summer break for goodness' sake). I'm exhausted. Saturday night I went to dinner at a friend's; Sunday night I saw Don Henley and Stevie Nicks in concert. That was quite fun. I was sad that I didn't hear "Landslide" or "Silver Spring." I wore a skirt from AT (the concert seemed like a good excuse to buy a new outfit) and nearly froze. Who knew that June nights could be so cold? Monday morning I got up after five hours of sleep (not something I generally survive on) and was all set to go to a Hike For Life planning meeting at my local Pregnancy Care Center, when I decided to check the meeting time, which turned out to be in the afternoon, not 8:30 in the morning. Sigh. Monday night my small group came over for a barbecue. I did homework until 12:45 and got up at 5:45 to finish it before dashing off to class. And now, I've had too much Diet Coke to take a nap (silly girl).

I watched a travel dvd from my library on Scotland. Scotland was the country that most surprised me during my time in Europe. I was really struck by it and can't wait to return. I almost want to go there more than Ireland again because I got to spend so little time (comparatively) there. Almost.

I'm not sure if its blasphemous, but its funny.

Of Linguistics and Dinner Parties

And then life got really busy. My class started Tuesday and is very early in the morning. So far its fun. I don't really know much about linguistics, so I truly am dealing with a new subject, rather than a different subset of a familiar one. The homework (and there's lots of it) is also different than my normal classes because its active. I'm making flashcards and completing worksheets, instead of just reading, reading, reading. I greatly enjoy the people that I'm in class with and, oddly, doing the commute to school.

Part of said reconnection with some wayward fellow students involved me having a dinner party (not as fancy as it sounds, just three friends from school, my brother, and I) last night. If I was into anonymous names for people, I'd probably call my one friend the Gay Gourmet. He's my hero. He's super organized and always finishes his big papers months ahead of time. He's an awesome cook and can entertain like nobody's business. So in inviting him, I invited pressure because I wanted to impress. I riskly decided to try making something brand new for my guests. Pizza from scratch! It turns out the dough is rather easy; I just followed the recipe in Better Homes and Gardens. I then had tons of toppings: onions, mushrooms, broccoli, chicken, pineapple, tomatoes; various cheeses: cheddar, feta, mozzarella; and multiple sauces: marinara, barbecue, and Alfredo. Everybody then got to make their own pizza with whatever he/she chose. I will admit my timing was less than stellar and four of the five of us ended up working on cutting up toppings, etc. But, I think, fun was had by all and the results were delicious.

I Got Two Client Compliments at Work Today.

One down side to working at the mall: I'm seeing how pervasive consumerism is in our culture. I marvel at the amount of money people spend every day, and supposedly the retail business is slow now. But still, people spend thousands and thousands of dollars a day (even week days!). The even more apalling aspect is, I want to be one of them. Every day I work I wish to spend indiscriment amounts of money on clothes. I like clothes and I already have a lot of them, but I just want more. It's hard not to just buy and rack up the credit card. I'm rather disgusted with my capitalistic urges.

Tomorrow class starts. At eight in the morning. Grr. I hope linguistics is fun. Lots of fun.

As It Turns Out, Not a Sequel

When I was in junior high, I used to look at the book Brideshead Revisited and want to read it because it had the pretty BBC mini series pictures on the cover (Jeremy Irons, yowzah), which was quite an attractive facet for me. I didn't read it because of the word "revisited." Sans research (perhaps the fatal flaw in my logic), I assumed that this was an author coming back to, revisiting previous material or characters. I hate reading or watching anything from the middle of the narrative world. I don't watch tv shows unless I've seen the pilot; I always start from the beginning. Because I thought this book wasn't the first in the series, I didn't want to read it.

A scant ten years later as I'm exploring Evelyn Waugh (because of Bright Young Things and Vile Bodies), I realized that, in fact, the book stands by itself. I read it over the past couple of days, and it is fantastic. It's probably for the best that I didn't read it when I was in junior high. I wouldn't have understood it. Wouldn't have noticed the homosexual themes (not that I revel in them, but they are important to the understanding of the work). Wouldn't have had any sympathy for the adulterous characters (again, not reveling, but accepting that we are screwed up people). There's a beauty that I'm fascinated with in the falleness of the British aristocracy.

Tonight I watched I Heart Huckabees. Hilarious. Fantastic. Incredible. Run, don't walk.

Also

I'd like to acknowledge that I am glad that I am not a male and do not have to deal with machismo and male insecurity (not that we females don't have our share of it). I realize I'm making some sweeping generalities and stereotypes, but I just watched Glengarry Glen Ross and, wow. Amazing acting. I'm still tensed and stressed from the pressure and drive of sales and ego.

Physics and Spirituality, My Favorite

An interesting post exploring the concept of the Trinity through physics on an interesting blog entitled "Atheist 4 God" with the tagline "Since there is no God, why do I keep finding his fingerprints all over my stuff?" I haven't read all (or even many) of the posts, but it seems to be authentic musings over how we deal with spiritual component to our lives that screams for something bigger than ourselves. Neat.

Whistler...

I like to whistle. I've been laughed at because I'll whistle along with the music even when the words have stopped. Well, I found the perfect song. It's called "Whistler's Delight." Seven minutes of famous whistling (you know the opening to Robin Hood, etc.). Fun for all!

I've started reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I really just want to reread book five, but I figure since I'm teaching it, and for the full build-up effect, I should read 'em all. So I'm working on that. Pop culture will be Harry Potter-a-go-go for the next six months or so, and I want to be top of my game (i.e. uber knowledgable) for any conversations I might have about the sublties, what Rowling is doing, what might happen in book six/seven. (I don't think Harry makes it.)

I've also been watching movies: Ocean's Twelve, and Renegade (sigh, Vincent Cassel), The Phantom of the Opera (very pretty, I wish I saw it on the big screen), Bright Young Things (I really liked this British period piece (pre- and during WWII). Based on a novel by Evelyn Waugh, who did other similar works like Brideshead Revisited. Directed by Stephan Fry. I want to read the book because that British modernist period may be my second area of study, after film, for my PhD.), Zelary (Czech film also durning WWII). I've also been watching season two of Home Movies, which is a hilarious show on adultswim about a fourth grader who makes films.

One Last Test...

I feel bad that I'm riddling my site with silly tests, but I thought this was cool.

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

The Things I Waste My Time on at 1am

Like a map of the countries I've been to (totaling 5% of the world). Doesn't Australia look lonely, sad and grey in its little corner?


create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

Thoughts from a Syllabus

Did some actual school work today. I've been reading The Sorcerer's Stone to get ready for the new book and for my fall class. One of my friends from school and I wrote our fall syllabus together, and we got together today to write some of the paper prompts, etc. It's nice to have somebody else to work with and validate ideas. I do wonder though if I'm actually going to be teaching (or rather facilitating the learning of) anything or if its all just smoke and mirrors. Like when I explain to others (and myself) how we're reading the first Harry Potter book, watching the second movie, and then reading the third book and watching the third movie so that we can talk first about written rhetoric, than visual rhetoric, and then the relation between/differences in the two....does that mean anything? Can I actually do that? Do I have any idea what I'm talking about?

Tonight I watched a documentary on Steve McQueen that my brother made. I've never seen any of his (McQueen, not my brother--I've seen all of his) movies. My entire family (including my mother who sees half a dozen movies a year) was chastising me for my lack. I see lots of films, but I don't have time to see them all. I wish I did, but I don't. Just because I'm a 'movie person' doesn't mean I've seen them all. Although if we muse back to my obvious insecurity about my subject (see above paragraph), maybe I'm not a qualified individual. How on earth would I ever teach a class on film and create a syllabus if I hadn't already taken it? How do professors deal with the pressure of deciding what is important for the students to learn about and what isn't? If Steve McQueen is so pivotal, and I've missed out, what other gaping holes are there in my knowledge?

Ah, Sweet Validation

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

Congratulations! If your mission in life
is not already to preserve the English tongue,
it should be. You can smell a grammtical
inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is
revered by the underlings, though some may
blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just
jealous. Go out there and change the world.

How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)
brought to you by

Recover Post Worked!

I made my first purchase from AT yesterday. I think I ended up spending a little more than I've earned there. That can't keep happening. While the only retail job that I'd want to have is at a store whose product I enjoy (I know I'm a snob), that may have its disadvantages. I'll have to be disciplined about what I allow myself to buy. Especially since, I really don't have the money to continue my normal frivolities (eating out, seeing/buying movies, going to concerts, buying books, cds, and, of course, clothes).

I should start buying and reading books for the fall semster, since I was able to get the book list for two of my classes, but I just can't bring myself to be studious or serious academically. Rather than my crazy friend who is reading a biography of Byron a week after school gets out, I'm reading children's fiction (in the middle of The Erstaz Elevator book the sixth in A Series of Unfortunate Events).

Some films I've seen lately: Crimson Rivers 2: Angels of the Apocalypse. I loved the first film because it was quite the mystery thriller. I wish I could read the books that inspired it, but I can't find any English translations, which is sad. Do you think the French struggle to find a French translation of John Grisham? This sequal isn't quite as good as the first (and is sadly missing Vincent Cassel), but I do enjoy stories with overt, heavy-handed religious imagery and symbolism. This one has that, plus Christopher Lee playing a modern German Nazi in this French film. Soo-pair!

Girlfight. I bought this uber-cheap at Christmas time but had not watched it (though I'd seen it before I purchased). It's the female boxer story, way before Million Dollar Baby. Watching it made me want to run and hit things, but only if it was in a montage while my stomach got flatter, my arms got more defined, and there was "Getting Stronger" Rocky-esque music playing.

Happy Birthday, John C. Reilly!

I finished Buffy. There was narrative closure, and I felt satisfied. If I did not know that Spike survived and went on to season five of Angel, I would be very sad because he is very much dead at the end. But, I am supremely confident that Whedon and co. create some plausible reason for his return. Okay, maybe not plausible (though I don't know what it is yet), but I am very willing to believe anything if it allows me the pyschological comfort of knowing Spike lives. Now, in order to watch season five of Angel, I have to watch the first four seasons. I'm not certain if I'm ready to commit to such an undertaking quite yet, so I'm going to spend a little time on other projects: cleaning, Em's baby quilt, my knitting, and, of course, movies and books.

I've read The Wide Window and am in the middle of The Miserable Mill, both in the Series of Unfortunate of Events by Lemony Snicket. I watched the second season of The Office and Wilde.

Different Venue, Same Show

Yesterday I learned how to work the register at AT. It's trickier than I had anticipated. Not difficult necessarily, but tedious. For two hours, I was practicing with these story problems (Valerie buys a shirt and belt and pays with a credit card; Valerie exchanges, returns, etc.) and I only got through twenty of the seventy that I need to do. I wonder if I'll really have to finish them all or they'll just let me learn on the job. We'll see, I guess. I am curious to know how many hours I'm going to be working. I'll find that out on Sunday.

This weekend is already a lot of fun though. I'm visiting Katie and then I'm going to catch up with my family who are initiating the new pop-up camper. I'm very excited to be spending time with Katie. I haven't spent time with her in months. It's too bad that all of us are so spread out across the country (especially those two on the opposite coasts!), making it difficult for all of us to be together. I've hooked Katie and we've watched a number of episodes of Buffy. I have eight episodes left in the series. I hope that there's closure, so I can walk away from this obsession satisfied. Katie wants to see the end, so that's our big plan for the weekend.

I'm watching the weather channel, which just reported that its 57 and rainy in Dublin. Sigh, I wish I could go back.

Lovely, Lovely

Ann Taylor called me this morning, and I got the job! I went in and did a computer training--for four hours. It was lengthy, but, hey, I got paid for it. Congrats to Katie, who also found gainful employment this week!

I've been watching lots of Buffy though I'm less satisfied with it. I'm not happy about the whole Willow thing, though I've grown to enjoy Anya. I have to admit that I'm a bit of a sucker (hee hee) for Spike and am rooting for Buffy and him to get together.

Hmm, its been a while, so media update. Movies I've seen: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (I enjoyed it more than the book, even though I'm glad I read the book first), Othello (set in modern times in the "New Scotland Yard"),...and...okay, so I haven't been watching too much of late, but that is shortly to change!

New Super Hero?

Well, I'm finished. I didn't trip across the stage today. I'd like to start introducing myself much like He-Man, Master of the Universe, with "I'm Shazarah Master of the English." But that probably wouldn't be the best way to win friends and influence people.

Right now, I'm drained. I've been putting in long, long hours at school to finish all my papers, grading, and syllabi for next semester. I'm excited to be starting the PhD and taking classes in the summer, but I'm looking forward to some quality (and maybe not so quality) time in bed, with books, and with the tv.

Kingdom of Heaven, Part Two

I was outside being quite productive, grading final portfolios, and realized that after a mere hour and a slathering of 45 spf sunblock, I was already burning. Grr. So back into the house, where, of course, I feel compelled to check (for the third time today) all my emails and blogs. A link from Dr. Dave sent me to Chick Tracts where I found the answer to all my concerns raised by Kingdom of Heaven. Well, the Jonathan Edwards "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" answer. It's rather hokey and blunt, nothing I would ever, actually show to a non-Christian and say "Here's why you should join the flock." Though I would never phrase myself like this video does, does believing in Christianity as the One way to God mean that I have to think that harshly about those who don't believe? I don't want to be that mean, or is it just honesty shown meanly? Do moral absolutes have to be so...absolute? I don't want to be as relativistic as society is. There has to be Truth not just truth, or else what is there? But, that doesn't mean that I don't think there's grey in addition to the black and white.

Well, At Least Jack White is Available

So apparently, Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney got married. I had no idea they were even dating. It seems bizarre to me, but I'm happy because that means she's not dating the uber-erotic Jack White, clearly leaving him open for me.

More Procrastination

After this, I am disconnecting my computer from the internet, so I only work on writing my paper. BUT, I just watched the trailer for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire!!! And I am rather excited.

A Defence of Poetry

Working on my final for British Romantic Lit, I read Shelley's A Defence of Poetry (ideally I suppose this would have been a re-reading, but it was a busy semester what with comps...and Buffy). It was rather amazing. Some particularly likeable quotes:

"Poetry is a sword of lightning, ever unsheathed, which consumes the scabbard that would contain it."

"Poetry ever communicates all the pleasure which men are capable of receiving: it is ever still the light of life; the source of whatever of beautiful, or generous, or true can have place in an evil time."

"All high poetry is infinite; it is as the first acorn, which contained all oaks potentially. Veil after veil may be undrawn, and the inmost naked beauty of the meaning never exposed."

That last one applies not only to poetry, but also to Christ, I think. It is why I study what I study, why I do what I do, why I live how I live.

Kingdom of Heaven

I saw Kingdom of Heaven last night. Cinematically, I enjoyed it. I've never been to the Middle East, and so the landscapes were wild and strange and beautiful. Orlando Bloom did an excellent job. The king (whose face one never sees) is played by Edward Norton, which I sadly did not realize until afterward. Emotionally, I was moved to tears and my soul ached as the war-mongers gathered their troops with the cry "God wills it." What affected me the most was the spiritual implications that I have already been wrestling with. Ideas about the separation of church and state and do I value that above even my church leading the state; is our current war really a result of a sincere desire to help people and do what is right, or is it economic convenience on a convenient platform; and, are there many paths to God or just one. I believe Christ's teachings of "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except by me," but how do I reconcile that with the Eastern religions that are full of committed, devout, pious, good people. If I allow for that, how can I still believe in moral absolutes?

Well, those are some of the issues the film raised for me; I'm curious to see how others react to it.

No Good

Last night I had a bad twenty minutes after class. I got a paper back in which I felt he condescendingly made inaccurate grammar changes. I looked at the cake I'd made to find the frosting had melted while driving from home to school, making the words "happy birthday" unintelligible. I then realized I had no candles. I felt like a failure at school, cooking, and life in general. I got to the party (after hitting Wal-Mart for candles because I'm going to get something right, gosh darnit) and proceeded to drink more than normal for myself. If I hadn't had to drive, I was in the mood just to drink and drink.

Today has been better, but I'm going to sit and grade, sulkily, until something better comes along. Maybe I'll see a movie tonight. Maybe I'll drink more.

At least, I cleaned my desk.

Baking Day!

A two layer cake, cupcakes (to test the cake flavor), a couple of batches of cookies...these are my goals for today.

What a Wonderful World

I have finished grading all of my research papers! Yay! I only got four and a half hours sleep last night, which is a rarity for me. Very little comes between me and six to eight hours. Now I still have final revisions and portfolios to grade, but those'll be of the wholistic, no comment variety and won't take quite as long.

Tomorrow is a friend's birthday, so I'm baking a cake for him. I figured I may as well bake cookies for my students (unusually, I haven't made them anything yet) and my small group. I'm excited to be domestic, though slightly worried. There's no way I can make a box cake (he's far too particular, I'd feel trashy), but I haven't made a cake from scratch in ages. I'm worried it won't turn out well. How am I to know unless I taste it? I can't very well come to the party with a cake missing a slice, but I don't really want to make two. Sigh. I'm so happy that these are the problems I'm worrying about now.

Of course, the semester isn't over yet. I still have to write finals and figure out student grades, but I'll blink and we'll be in the midst of summer. (I mean where did April go?) I'm looking forward to getting to my reading list that I've comprised this semester from being in classes where people reference works that everybody has read (except me). And watching movies! I get twitchy looking at my Blockbuster queue and thinking about tearing through it. All I've had time for lately is the first season of The Office (rather droll), which is all of six half-hour episodes. I haven't even watched Buffy for a week! And that is something.

Seven papers to go. It's like in video games when you've hit the boss twice and you know that three times will send him reeling.

A First

Okay so this isn't too exciting, but according to my site meter somebody came across my page through a search! I know Lij and others have nifty stories about what kooky searches brought people their way. The search phrase was "grading papers" and it wasn't Google, but Technorati. Still whoever that person was stayed to read about my grading woes. Sadly those troubles are not quite over, if I can finish twenty research papers today, I will have slain the beast of this semester. There will still be the kicking, thrashing about while in death throes (aka finals), but nothing will have the ability to strike me with a mortal wound.

Erasure! Erasure! Erasure!

The concert...was...awesome! I seriously think it is one of the top two or three concerts I've ever seen. So great. Gay men have such a talent for spectacle. And it was 80s pop music; anyone who knows me knows how much I love 80s music. The concert was absolutely delicious. I want to spend my summer driving around to the rest of their concerts that aren't sold out. There's one in Boston June 4th, too bad Em's baby won't have come at that point (probably) or else I could have had a real excuse to be there for it.

Speaking of gay men that I love, Rufus is going to be playing at Ravinia August 10th. Unfortunately, their site isn't working now, so I don't know if I can afford to go, if it's sold out, etc. But there's a strong possibility I'll be able to see him. Yay!

Feeling Romantic? I Am

Well, Romantic in the British poetry sense. I've been working on a paper that has to do with Shelley, his time in Dublin, and a poem he wrote "On Robert Emmet's tomb." Kind of interesting, but I'm running out of steam for the semester. Like an idiot, I told my students I would have their research papers back to them by Monday. I haven't graded a single one yet. Friday night I have an awards dinner that I'm going to with Josh, a First Year Composition party afterwards (where Josh tells me I'm to be his DD); Saturday I'm going to Chicago to see Erasure (yay, 80s synthesizer music...I hope they play two of my favorite songs they've covered: ABBA's "Take a Chance on Me" and the Weather Girls' "Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! (A Man After Midnight)"). But that doesn't leave me for much time to grade and I'm a grading turtle! I hope it gets easier when I get to design my own assignments, syllabus, due dates, etc.

A New Wardrobe?

Or actually a new job? I have been very busy today, but rather non-productive academically, which is not good two weeks before the semester ends. I dropped off an application to work at Ann Taylor Loft, and had a pre-screening interview. Then I bought contacts, got my oil changed, and came home to do a computer personality assessment for Ann Taylor. I then called the store to tell them I had completed this and an hour later they called me back to set up a second interview! Because Wednesdays are my long days (14 hours at school), I had to have it this afternoon (the head manager is leaving on Thursday). I went back and interviewed again; all went seemingly well--she told me one of my answers was rather impressive for never having worked in retail before. So...I should know soon. I hope I get it. I love their clothes.

British Franchises: Tea and Bond

I'm sipping my delightful English Breakfast tea brought to me from England and reading a news story about the next James Bond. Of course, there is no official word that Pierce won't be returning to the role, all is just wild speculation at this point. That being said, wouldn't Clive Owen make a delicious Bond?

My Powers are Too Weak to Resist the Narrative!

The last time I remember being this fevered to continue a narrative was with Harry Potter. When I first started reading the books, I couldn't stop. I was painting my parents house that summer, and I made my mom read aloud to me as I was working because I couldn't not know what was happening next. I read the first three books in two days or so. Now with Buffy, I have the same need to keep going, but there's so much that it really is distracting me from other life activities I need to be doing.

Last night, I watched The Incredibles, and, at first, I was thinking, "I could be watching Buffy right now, why am I not holed up in my room?" The Incredibles is rather incredible (sigh, will either Pixar or Disney produce the like again, now that they've split?) and soon I was able to stop my fretting. So, now I feel like perhaps I've regained a small semblance of control. I was empowered to find that I can watch/do and enjoy other things, and Buffy will still be there when I come back to it (I watched two episodes later last night). We'll see.

In book news, I've finished reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which is an enjoyable quick read. It has lots of one to two page chapters/sections, so it was perfect bathroom reading. I've been reading Shelley for my British Romantic Poetry class, and need to write a paper on him (or Keats) this weekend. Shelley traveled to Ireland in 1812ish and distributed pamphlets he'd written about why the Irish should revolt against the English, as well as a couple of poems to Ireland. Being a celtophile, I'm trying to find a paper in that, but it just hasn't happened yet.

A Brief Respite

Yesterday, I turned back the last of my students papers that I've been struggling to grade for the past few weeks. Today, I get their research papers. That leaves a few hours in which I don't have the axe of grading hanging over me. Of course, I've been really productive, finishing season three of Buffy and starting season four. I'm considering buying them. Season one is on sale at Wal-Mart for 14 bucks! Tempting.

Only a few more weeks left in the semester. For my classes, one paper and two finals left in my career as an MA student. Then I also need to be designing my composition class for the fall. Another girl and I are going to design a course together, and we think we're going to use Harry Potter books for our reader. Another composition teacher has done it quite successfully and she's given us some of her materials. It should be a lot of fun, at least as far as rhetoric courses can be.

Language

As I'm actively not writing my paper, I am reading the blogs of many an academic (Sometime soon I'll post links to the ones I read and lurk at). Lots of them are doing this fun little quiz, so what the heck, I will too.

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

15% Upper Midwestern

10% Yankee

5% Midwestern

0% Dixie

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

I first saw this at MFA.

Quick Happiness

The Cold Stone Creamery near me opened yesterday. I couldn't make it until today, but when I did, imagine that my joy at least equaled this.

Too Much To Say

I've been itching to get to a computer and post, because I've actually been doing interesting things the past few days, but I was so occupied doing that I didn't have time to write about them. So, the next few days may be catch-up.

On Friday, I bought three pairs of shoes. I'm not normally much of a shopper, but shoes are my vice, and my shopping friends were persuasive. One is just a black dress sandal from Wal-Mart; the other two are from Van Maur, but drastically reduced. Both are Chinese Laundry. Check them out here and here.

Next, we ate a Buca de Beppo's, which was tasty as usual. I had limoncello there and thought of Cinque Terra! Martha has a recipe for it in her latest Living, and I'm considering trying to make it.

The purpose of this excursion was actually to go downtown for a Tori Amos concert. I quite enjoyed it. I probably only recognized a fourth to a third of the songs. But still, she was good. We had the very furthest seats away possible. We had to walk up six flights of stairs and then were in the back row. It made it difficult to hear because of silly screaming people and the fact that she doesn't enunciate all that well to begin with. She impressed me playing a piano and an organ at the same time, but her odd writhing made me feel like she was giving birth to the piano bench she was sitting on.

The bonus surprise though was Matt Nathanson opened for her! I haven't thought about him in a while, but listening to his four songs (I even knew one!) made me realize that I need to buy his album.

I have lots of grading to do, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope I can reach it before the cave-in! More exciting things from this weekend to come--think fat Elvis.

"You speak nonsense, I'll speak the truth. We'll see what comes of it." That was one of my favorite lines from Ran the latest film from my IAC class. It had that epic (long), delibrate (slow) feel that most Kurosawa films have. Rather enjoyable overall. Confession: I've never read King Lear, which this film is based on. I'm a fake Englishy person.

On the bright side, I'm slowly getting grading done. I've made a little deal with myself, which I rarely do because I generally don't trust myself to stick with the bargins. This time I've been good. Grading four papers = one episode of Buffy.